I have a problem. When I’m talking to someone which is very few times with few words I need to know one thing a head of time. Will you answer my mother fucking question?

It’s only one little request. Well it’s really a mother fucking demand. I just need to know when I finally do speak will you answer with female bullshit or passive aggressive bitch speech. I need to be prepared ahead of time or else my fucking blood pressure will climb or my give a damn switch will be turned off immediately.

Example.

Her opening attack. “Hey what do you think of my dress?”

My response. “It’s nice. You think it’s going to be cold today?”

Her response. “What the fuck does that mean? You think my dress is to short. You think I’m a slut? What fuck is wrong with you?”

Holy shit! It’s to early for this shit. I need some mother fucking coffee in me. Sweet Jesus give me strength.

My finger is on the I-give-a-damn switch. I take a breath. “Aw no. I was asking because I don’t want to wear a jacket today if it will get warmer.”

Her response. “Oh. Well. Yes. It will get warmer. So what are you thinking about doing for the weekend?”

I slam my fist down on the switch and check out of the conversation.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg