Month: September 2021

Let’s take Genetically engineered humans, warriors and cyberpunk….

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Prologue

Jason

I woke up on a lab bed fully dressed in my leather jacket and jeans. I felt weird. I started to raise up and looked around at the empty laboratory.

I looked in my vest pocket to find my detapad. It wasn’t there. I checked my pockets. All my shit was gone.

What the fuck was going on?

The door to room slid open. Dr. Jackson walked in. I frowned at how I knew him but I didn’t know him.

He had a clear bag in his hand and a tablet computer in the other.

I recognized my detapad, wallet, keys and my boots. He handed me the bag silently.

I took it and started fishing my shit out of the bag. “What happened? Did one of brothers bring me?”

“Happy 1st Birthday. This is a bio birthing lab.”

I froze and checked the back of my right ear. I felt the three bumps. I dropped my hand away and then started gathering my stuff and then quickly putting on my boots. I checked my detapad. It was Tuesday, the 6th and I had an appointment to get to. I just wondered if I had a crew to bring to it.

I looked at Jackson. “Is my crew here?”

Dr. Jackson watched me taking notes. “Yes. They all just had their birthdays today.” He said in that asshole condescending emotionaless voice.

Damn. Some of them were going to be freaking out. I didn’t have time for this. We had to make it to the meeting or we were shit out of luck and would be terminated permanently by the BattleStar corporation.

“I’ll take over the debriefing. You stay the fuck out of it.” I said.

Jackson started to open his mouth and I came up swinging popping him in the chin and knocking his old ass out. I took his tablet and found the information I needed of their room numbers and the time when our orginals was declared dead.

I had to move. We had a twenty-four hours to complete the mission.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

I saw something funny last night that had me laughing my ass off…A Mario bros movie is coming out.

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Holy shit.

If you don’t who the fuck Mario bros. Welcome to earth or happy 1st birthday. I damn near pissed myself in bed laughing.

The line of movie stars?! Lined up for this bullshit had me thinking of seeing this movie just to hear the seven levels of shit.

Chris Pratt is playing Mario. Holy shit balls from space.

The line up. Holy balls. It was one joke after the other. I got to hear this shit. I’m damn near praying it’s live action.

Just imagine it. Chris Pratt with a mustache O and fake Italian accent.

Momma meee ah!

I need this shit in life.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

The price for a dollar.

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These days I’m living are harsh on my hands. Marks and cuts are tattooed on these hands of mean.

These hands I’ve trainned and worked throughout days of writing long hand and typing away dime store short stories and poetry are feeling the aches snd pains of general hard labor and the price for being born with the soul of an artist but the business mindset of ant or farmer.

I got one day to game on in my virtual haven of dreaming I’m thief on the run from a 19th century guard. I’m hands can’t bare more then a day.

Again, this is not to whin it is a weirdness to me. I would gladly work a field from dusk to setting sun with these hands. Feel the soil in my hands and breath in the scent of clean earth. Some part of me needs the scent and the labor and the other side of me would rather spend the day finishing my major book project and give up gaming entirely for it.

I’m all mixed up. My body is all fucked up from tiredness but….I can’t whin about because I’m a man and it just is interesting to me to think about as an artist mind and construction worker boots.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

Let the pigs enjoy rolling in shit. I accept the dream is over.

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They’ve chosen their course. They’ve taken an oath to filth and the corruption of the good, the beautiful and the true.

Leave the pigs to their shit and merry ment. Let them roll in it. It is what they love. It is what they enjoy. The shit is what they love and shit is all they are.

In English….

Current day Star Trek is pure shit from the movies to the modern day bullshit shows. Anyone that loves the bullshit is a confirmation that we are at def con pigs rolling in their own shit.

Star Trek is dead. I accept it.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

Great Papo’s birthday gift…

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Great grand father sits at the head of the table depressed about his birthday. His grandson and great grandson decide to cheer him up.

“Come on man. You should be happy to live as long as you have.” I said to great Papo.

Great Papo flipped me off. My Dad laughed.

“You still got that Spirit. Hell you may be old as dirt but at least your not as hated as the Boomer will be.”

Ah shit. I avoided looking at my grandfather who sat in the back of the room.

Great Papo started chuckling. “You got that right. I’ll be forgotten. The fucking Boomer will be shit on from now to forever. What you think, youngster?”

My dad gave me a wink and nod. I sighed.

“I think people will remember you for being the silent type and the Boomer for the shut the fuck up type.”

Great Papo started laughing loud now.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

Let’s take Tango & Cash, Legend of Zelda and cyberpunk brainstorming…part 10

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Let’s add some….lore

Chapter 9

Tango

The sound of the drums woke me up from my cell. I looked around and the mist was thick in the air.

Tree magic. Cash was coming.

I heard the sounds of fighting going on, screams and then Cash stood in front of me in his stealth suit but the added addition of his tree people long cap. He hadn’t worn it in two years.

He knelt down in front of me and started to undue my chains. He was quiet.

“You’ve returned to the lost forest?” I asked.

He nodded. “We had a bit of trouble outside when I handed the scroll off to your old man. He is less inclined to give you up. It was a surprise. Gannon flew off with his female on a magic carpet once the deal was done but he told me wear you were. He said some shit about you being pregnant.” He said watching my reaction.

I have no idea how that asshole knew but I wasn’t in the mood talk about that shit now in a fucking dungeon.

“He isn’t Gannon. Is he one of arabian legends?” I told him.

Cash didn’t look surprised by my guess or I was evading his unspoken question about not telling him about the baby.

Cash shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know his name. It always seem to change whenever we meet. I met him, 60 years ago he went by a different name.” He said refering to his ancester.

I would have to get used to that shit again. “Well. That doesn’t matter anymore let’s go home.”

He stared at me. “Home for me is the lost forest.”

I stared at him. “I’m coming with you to the forest then. Let’s go.”

He smiled. “Best news I heard all day. Hopefully we won’t be seeing Ali and his lady any time soon.” He asked while helping me to my feet.

I knew for sure and also that chances were we would be seeing them again. “How could you screw up in giving my father the tri scroll? He’ll only use it to kill you but before he raises his funds for his army of mercenaries. “

Cash shrugged. “The scoll is worthless to me and Leo couldn’t use it against me because-” He paused turning his head slightly.

I looked past him to my father who held a blaster at the back of Cash. His hand was bandaged up and looked crazy with rage and madness.

“You knew he was mean.” I told my father softly.

Leo grimanced but shook his head. “He was supposed to protect you give you a kid and go away or have the good grace to die in battle like the legends said he would. He’s nothing but a poor forest boy. He is beneath you. Tangos aren’t ruled by men like him. We’re paid to kill people like him or use him to build up our ranks.”

“He’s mean.” I repeated again. “You chose him, you told me about the legends. You can’t cheat fate.” I said knowing it was useless to convince him. Leo made up his mind and he had to go all the way.

“This isn’t fate.” Leo spat at me. “I have no idea what Cash is or what he did to you but your not going with him. Hero’s Ghost and his Hero’s Ghost’s lady. That’s not your destiny. Your Zelda Tango. You don’t take side story or legend to a self righteous poor bastard’s like him with high Lord complex. He’s got nothing. He is nothing. Wake the fuck up!”

I shook my head at him and hugged Cash’s neck. “I told you. He’s mean. I never said I was going to be his side story. It’s Tango & Cash. That’s how our legend goes. Fuck all the rest of that bullshit.”

Leo sighed shaking head. “I can’t let you go. Sorry I couldn’t save you. I can’t allow you to do this to yourself.”

“Goodbye Leo.” I said.

The mist gathered us as my father fired on us several shots each shot missed as they slammed into my light shield.

The tree people came and attacked my father from the shadows. Cash lifted me in his arms and carried me away….

Warm Regards….

Guardiandogg

P. S.

Damn. I’m good. Oh. It’s not over just.

Let’s take Tango & Cash, Legend of Zelda and cyberpunk brainstorming…part 9

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Mix in Hitchhiker’s guide to the Universe.

Chapter 8

Guardiandogg

Okay. Sorry for this bit but Ali who is the main character for this chapter isn’t the talking type or up for revealing himself let alone his direct thoughts……

So. I’ll have to talk about the events as they are happening while from the third man perspective of Ali’s scheming ass gets his chuckles.

I take my position and sit crossed legged on the grass as Ali waits for Cash to arrive. Ali’s fine ass lady Yasmine is beside him. She’s in communication with Ali’s agents setting up plans for their move to the next mission on her deta pad.

Pause. Why do these people call cellphones, detapads or hand computers? Cyberpunk that’s why. Anyway,

I wave to Ali, the asshole gives me the finger and ignores me. I sigh and wait for Ali’s plan to get going. I know dick all about what’s going to happen but I’m guessing it’s going to give Ali a good laugh before he gets his payment and runs off. That fucker is weird like that. Plans with in, with in plans.

The mist arrival means the show is about to begin. I hear movement in the shadows of trees around.

Cash arrives along with his people. I see a vague figure appear out of the mist.

“I want my woman.” Cash calls out of the mist.

Ali is frowning trying to hold back laughter. Everybody is playing into his hands.

“Show me the scroll.” Ali says.

“I wasn’t talking to you, Ali, Gannon or whatever the fuck name your going by. Bring your fucking client out here. Your not my enemy.” Cash said.

Ali chuckled. “So now you remember me? It’s only been 60 years. But, that-“

“Stop stalling Ali. Let’s get this shit show going. Come out you old bastard or I’m taking what’s mean and leaving you shit all.”

Ali looks to the shadows behind me. “If you want your scroll then you better come out. I handled my end to this point.” He says.

I frowned wondering if he’s talking about me then some Leo Tango comes out of the shadows behind me with a hyrule guard at his side rifle aimmed at the direction where Cash might be. Truth is I didn’t know.

I’m not surprised. If you’ve been reading along, you shouldn’t be surprised either. Anyway it’s show time.

Cash reveals himself in his full stealth suit with his green cap on. He lightly throws the scoll to Leo who catches and not more then a second later his guards come out of hidding and try to surround Cash.

Cash waited and then struck down five guards with his spear and stood in the same spot like he hadn’t moved.

“I want my woman. I worked for you for two years as payment. I want my female.” Cash said.

Leo rolled his eyes and then opened the scoll. “I wish to have my mercenary business survive the fall of hyrule and I wish for a private bank to store my gold from the sale of hyrule.” He said the scoll glowed and his deta pad beeped. He looked at it to see his account filled with A trillian in gold. He grinned and then looked at Cash. “My final wish. I wish Link Cash to die of a heart attack right now and his legend to end.”

Cash stood patiently. Ali chuckled a little. Leo frowned and repeated the wish. The scoll went black and turned to ash falling out of his hands.

Ali’s laughter was getting more louder. Leo noticed it glancing at him once but he was focused on Cash. “Your supposed to be dead.” He looked at his computer again he still had hia money the other wishes worked but the last one.

Cash stared at Leo. “That isn’t my name.” He said softly.

“What?!”

Ali’s laughter sounded crazy but it was kind a funny if you got the juke.

Cash didn’t laugh or smile. “I am Hero’s Ghost. I’m not Link Cash. I’m not mortal. That stupid scoll wouldn’t have worked on me anyway. Sense you don’t have a kingdom and you’ve sold away your legend. You won’t have any need to use your daughter against me. I’m taking my woman and you can go fuck yourself.”

Big dick energy. That’s my thoughts.

Leo finally turns to Ali to see him pointing at him laughing at him. At the juke he just played on him. Leo had finally figured it out. He was the juke the whole time.

“You pulled a double cross on me? While I still have your lamp? We had an agreement. Now you have nothing and I’ve got the gold.”

Ali stopped laughing and stared at Leo. “Magic lamp? You still believe that lamp was magical? Poor fool. How does it feel? To lose your kingdom of murders? To sell you homeland and legends for gold? To lose the heart and trust of your daughter. She’ll never forgive you for what you did and you tried to kill the father of you unborn child. All you have now is gold and the wind. The best part is that you sold your land to the people you stole and mudered for it. Now all you have is gold and the business of death. This is so perfect. The perfect vengeance. This is my payment. Thank you for paying on time.”

The glee and strange joy in Ali’s eyes was scary if you were an asshole like Leo Tango. But fuck that asshole.

Leo tried to draw his piece on Ali but Cash moved fast by throwing a ninja knife and stabbing him in the hand. Smooth.

Leo’s soldiers started firing on Hero’s Ghost but the dude disappeared in the mist. His people started attacking the guards in the mist using it as they’re means of attack.

Ali and his girl, Yasmine took that time to escape on a purple magic carpet raising up in the air. Ali’s people were already taking off with him on foot to their rides. Cash met Ali’s gaze once nodding to him before advancing toward the castle dungeons.

Ali smirked shaking his head. They always had a complicated relationship. Hero’s Ghost was a hero of legend. Ali? He wasn’t. He was something entirely different. Though it always bothered Ali that Hero’s Ghost never….

I have to stop here for Ali’s tale is still not yet told for now this is still a Tango & Cash tale.

Anyway, now I can get up out of this story and let the charecters tell the rest. I rather enjoy the story better when I can read it along with you.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

Brainstorming and early morning thoughts of the day….

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If you have an idea of where I’m going with Tango and Cash keep to yourself because I have only the protentional of an idea.

I’m just having fun. I started out with a parody of a joke of an interesting idea but right now I’m just cooking. I hope your enjoying the smell because this shit might be a nice snack or come cookie n’ creame good shit.

Week so far….I can’t wait for the weekend already.

I’m tired all over. Work is work. Writing is the thing I most excited for at present. I hope I land the landing for Tango & Cash because it’s already headed into another tale.

Hint. Pack your shield…..

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

Let’s take Tango & Cash, Legend of Zelda and cyberpunk brainstorming…part 8

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Uncharted mix

Chapter 7

Cash

I crept into the first room. The first guard, yellow Orc with a sword and shield appeared in the middle of the room and lounged his sword at my chest.

Time slowed down as I side stepped and thrust my spear into his chest six times before he puffed out of existence and then the room brought up another program for five more Orcs around me.

I went on the attack leaping at enemy then another. I was geared up for straight win before I took stab to my right shoulder.

I didn’t feel any pain but it counted as a hit for the computer. I took my last opponent down rolling to the side and stabing his head.

The door to right opened and I began the advance….

An hour later and several hit points lost I managed to make it to the last room. The treasure the door opened when my last enemy died.

I didn’t trust it. My nightvision goggles went out power. I took them off and room was a deep void of black.

I started tapping the floor with my spear as I approached the exit. My spear hit nothing at a space between the exit and me. I took a feet back and then took off into a run. One last Orc appeared and attacked.

I leaped over his head using his shoulders to somersault roll in the air and dive past the exit.

I landed on my side in the treasure room. Andy and the chief were there eating wild fruits and nuts at my table. I nodded to them and went looking for the tri scroll in the library.

I noticed the book of Historia Legends was open on the reading stand. I glanced at the page seeing it open to the Arabian legend tales as I passed.

I quickly found the scoll on the bottom shelf in a bid with the useless ones. It glowed gold but that was the only interesting thing it did.

I walked out for scoll section. A hat was thrown at me. I caught it and put it on without thinking. I nodded to them before I headed for the secret way out.

“Hero’s Ghost? Won’t you need your clothes?” Andy asked.

I stopped and cursed turning around to see the clothes bag on the table to. I walked over toward it dropping the scoll on the floor.

I started dressing quickly while Andy and Chief watched me. I frowned at them. “What?”

“You should check the book before you leave.” The Chief said.

“I know the story. Hero’s Ghost told it to me a million times when I was kid.” I said.

The Chief stared at me. “Then you should know Historia Legends always meet occasionally.”

I frowned at his words but went over to the book once I was dressed and started leafing through the tales. I knew them all by heart. It was my education handed down to me from father to son for two hundred years sense my legend began. My eyes landed on one legend. It had an artist rendering of him and his female. I stared at him. I knew him.

“Did Leo really Blackmail you about taking over the lost forest?” I asked Chief.

“Why would you say that?”

“The lost forest is the domain of the Hero’s Ghost if I recall correctly. My father said that repeatly before he died I walked out of the temple with his hat on as the Hero’s Ghost.”

“In part it was the truth but there was something else he had on me or you rather. I had to protect.”

“I saw a man kill Leo in front of me.” I said going over it in my head.

“Did you?” Andy asked. “Are you sure? Was it real or like how we make Orcs appear in a room with the computer Hero’s Ghost made for your training?”

“Damn it. Get the men ready. I’m tired of these games. I was promised my female. I will not be cheated a second time.” I said.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

Let’s take Tango & Cash, Legend of Zelda and cyberpunk brainstorming…part 7

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Chapter 6

Tango

I sat on the floor in my cell in the dungeon going over the first time I met Cash. I nothing better to do besides think on that event and work on my escape from the dungeon. I just needed a moment or right opportunity to present itself.

No. I frowned. There was another reason. It was connected to the feeling I got watching Gannon or the man called Gannon and his lover. It reminded me of something.

I remembered standing in my father’s office after my promotion to mage knight of the city guards. I was the youngest to achieve the rank in the mage devision at 19 and I had a proven myself worthy of royal title. I was expecting to be crowned princess the following month but my father had surprised me.

King Leo sat back in his seat. “I need you to head into the lost forest to recruit a rookie for HPD offically.”

I frowned at his words. “Okay. Offically I’ll get to it. Unofficial what the hell am I doing?”

King Leo puffed on his cegar as he eyed me. “You’ll be taking a sword.” He said in the formal title for a concubine male warrior.

I frowned at him. “Is that nessary any longer? We can arrange a alliance wedding with our nearest friendly-“

“We don’t have any of those anymore.” King Leo said. “We’re a little backwater trading Kingdom with a mercenary footing. We don’t go into wars with other folks. We’re hired to the warrior shit for them. I made an arrangement with the wild savages of lost forest park in exchange for their strongest male we’ll leave em alone to be wild lands.”

I shook my head. “Why not one of the experienced knights already in the field. At least someone I know. I’m sure I can get-“

“It’s already settled and you already know his name at least and the type of man he is. It’s done.” King Leo said in a final voice.

I rolled my eyes. “You chose some boy from the woods because his name is Link Cash? They are over twenty Link Cashs in the department now. What makes this forest boy any different?”

King Leo shook his head. “They don’t call him The Cash. They call him Hero’s Ghost.”

Holy shit. I felt it. Like a soft touch over my skin. It was him. He was back. That meant. He was mean. I could feel my face flush in embarrassment. “I’ll be expecting my crowning when I get back.”

King Leo held up a hand before taking off his berat and threwing it to me. “You can have mean and whatever cap or hat else I can find in my closet when you get back. Now get the hell out of my office Tango.”

I put on his berate and saluted him. “How do I look?”

“You look good princess go on. I work to do.” He said waving me out. Not bothering to tell me about the fact I wasn’t the only after him.

Gannon and his cult ninjas had would be hunting him to.

I frowned and pondered this. That was my first encounter with Gannon and his terrorist group. No. That was my only encounter. The man that called himself Gannon that took the castle wasn’t the real Gannon at all. My mind turned over the few possibilities of who he logically could be. Tango & Cash was one legend and as I thought about the scene of the fake Gannon & his lady it was clear what they were but what wasn’t clear was if my father had really been killed.

King Leo had on his crown berate when he was killed in front of Cash and me. There was a problem with that.

He gave that berate to me before I went to the lost forest. He didn’t have another berate like it because it had been his legal crown.

Warm Regards

Guardiandogg