Month: April 2021

If a bitch calls you too nice that means she doesn’t want you to fuck anyone including her. #badasstheories

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I learned that shit from Tupac Shakur. Being a man ain’t about being nice. Some of us can be the Chad and some us can be Mr. Delta.

But…

You have to be, you must be a mother fucking bad ass man.

History is unforgiving and proves without a doubt that bad asses conquered and fucked as many women as they could and as many threw themselves at them.

Am I saying you have to be an asshole?

No.

I’m saying any man that will stand in the face of sea beast blued haired bitch and tell her “no. You move.” Is a bad ass.

Likewise. If a fine ass female gives a dude the female bullshit special edition treatment with shade thrown at his father and grandmother. If he stands there and stares at her and then he calmly tells her…

“Yeah. You can pack your shit and get the fuck out now. You crossed the fucking line bitch. I told you never talk shit about my big momma.”

These are the words of a bad ass.

Okay. What a good Christian man? What would he say to a bitch that tried to “reason” with him about his biblical way of life and belief that rapists should be aborted. What would he say?

“I don’t care what you say about the matter. I don’t care how you think about the matter. I told you what I believe that saddles it. I’m not going to change my beliefs because your insulting them and me. I see your going to be argumentive about this so why don’t I leave sense you appear to be not in control of your emotions.” He says and then turns and walks away as she’s talking to him and cursing him out.

Holy shit. That’s some cold bad ass shit my dude. You see there is punch to the face line and then there is a cold logical stab to the brain line. But anyway you do it. This is bad ass behavior. This is why you need to be, you have to be a mother fucking bad ass.

Warm Regards

Guardiandogg

Why do men like a bad bitch. She provides a challenge, fun and loyalty all in one.

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Real talk. Every man wants a fucking challenge. Mother fucker we were born into a world that is out to kill us from the jump. It isn’t natural for us to have it to easy.

Challenge and conflict is in the fucking air we breath and water we swim in. The two C’s of masculine energy.

We need some amount of danger or challenge in our lives to keep us on the edge for when shit gets real. Even a beta bitch simp seeks out a fucking hard video game.

So…a bad bitch is always a fun ride or a fucking boo for life my dude.

Short term. A bad bitch that’s fun to fuck with for a couple months or years but shit isn’t going anywhere because the female bullshit eventually makes her a basic bitch you can’t tolerate to even look at.

Long term. A bad bitch that demands to be respected and will not lower her expectations that your ass be a fucking man in regards to how you treat her. She rolls with you, rocks with you and takes no shit from no beta bitch simp that hits up on her on the low to desrespect you and her. She will slap that bitch quick or tell your ass to handle that bitch and keep him the fuck away from her. She ain’t got time for that shit she got your kids to raise and she’s to busy working out to keep you interested in her fine ass.

The Short hand of all the shit I’m saying is the more bad bitch she is the more bad ass you got to be ya heard me?

Think about that shit…a female that encourages bad ass behavior?!

Holy shit.

Warm Regards

Guardiandogg

Let’s take Tango & Cash, Legend of Zelda and Cyberpunk (brainstorming)

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Holy shit what a mix. Let’s see what we get…

Prologue

Tango

I drove my truck up behind the black transport truck and got out. I got a look at the driver in her side mirror. A tall Amazon with red hair and a gerudo tattoo on her arm sent off red flags in my head.

Fucking Gannon’s people were coming in.

I took one fucking step out of my car and then the fucker took off down the streets of Hyrule. Shit.

I jumped back in my ride turned on my siren and took off for the transporter. My computer in my ride started up. I glanced over at the image of my father on the screen glaring at me.

“Zelda. What the fuck are you doing chasing that transporter? It’s not your bust.”

I shrugged. “It’s Hyrule Kingdom business. The driver is a Gerudo. The truck has no tags. He’s either taken something or the truck driver is headed for the castle.”

“Shit. Back off the truck’s in the west region. I’m sending in the Cash to deal with it.”

I shook my head. “Fuck that. He’s just a kid. I can handle it. Just send units to the castle for protection. My unit will handle it.”

Suddenly, a blue Hyrule Police cycle pulled up to my side. A bond haired cowboy smiled at me. “Hey, Princess. You need assistance?” Link Cash said to me with a handsome smile.

“I got it Cash. Back off. It’s Hyrule security business.” I said.

His expression changed. “Gannon?! Shit. I got it back off.”

I flipped him. As I  drove on ahead and raced to the side of the truck and rammed into the side of building. The driver get out of her truck and leaped on to my truck dragged me out and threw me five feet to the street.

I landed on the ground hard but my body armor took must of the damage. The bitch came at me fast.

Shit. I got out my piece and fired at her. She dodged my shots like bees. Her eyes glowed gold. The fuck? Shit! She had leg and eyes enhancements.

Suddenly, Cash was in front of me with the master’s sword in his hand and riot shield. The gerudo female leaped on him like a giant…well like a fucking amazon but Cash rebounded her attack with his shield sending her flying back into the front of her truck.

Cash helped me to my feet as the Gerudo got up and sent a lighting attack at him with her fingers.

Shit. I got in front of him blocking the attack with my light energy shield. The light blinded the gerudo from our view until it faded ten seconds later and we saw her gone.

“Shit, princess. King Tango is going to be pissed at you for getting yourself almost killed. Luckily he’ll give me a medal for saving your pretty ass.”

I turned to him. Cash had that stupid sexy shit eating grin on his face that made me want to slap him or take him for a ride on a hotel room bed to see if he was all bullshit. “Fuck you, Cash.”

Hmmm. Wow. This is just wow.

Warm Regards

Guardiandogg

The legend of Zelda call back to the stories of west and the moral virtues of old.

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The hero’s journey and the struggle for man against a power hungry pig and quest to save the princess.

The legend of Zelda is a series of games that vary in good, bad and weird. I have my favorites. I just like the series in general.

Zelda just offers fun and mini challenges that appeal to me as a pick up and play or just zen out on a Saturday morning.

Challenges. I just enjoy the levels of challenges that rang in degree.

The story isn’t fucked with that much overall but it has it’s levels of blend and refinement of the hero’s journey. I love how the Legends change but the archetypes and names remain the same. The moral code remains the same and layered in complex themes. Courage (the Hero) wisdom (the Princess) and power (the Pig).

Courage guided by purpose. Wisdom seen as the prize to obtain and power as seen as the thing to tame and bring into submission by the combination of courage and wisdom working together.

Gameplay is action adventure, challenges and puzzles. It’s all just one fun little ride.

Warm Regards

Guardiandogg

Culture war theories:Western culture storytelling vs The Empire of Disney

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Disney is a goble company with no ties or loyalties to The West only money to be made from western culture and pissing on the fables and legacy storytelling of The West.

Fuck. They can’t even tell a half assed Mullan story without shitting the bed with The East and The West.

Why though? They own the fables and stories of the West, right?! They own the rich creative properties of the past, right?!

How the fuck can you own the heroes journey or western culture storytelling?!

Still though, they own the art but have zero respect for the traditions and legacy or history of the art. How do I know this?

Is Ray of the Star Wars Disney movies a bad bitch? Is she sexy? Does Ray have a heroic story arc that is classic to western female characters of the 70s, 80s or 90s female characters in movies at least?

Ray? I think of her as a sex less nun at best or a big headed alien the universe is centered around.

Mullan, 2020. Is that movie on pair with Eastern female archetypes? Is it even using fantasy in a way that is indicative of asian females.

I made the state in passing that Star Wars is dead in a previous blog. Commercial wise yes but it was also a call to say it’s time to create the next legacy that is callback to Flash Gordon and heros journey or in my case Tango & Cash meets Highlander.

Warm Regards

Guardiandogg

An Ode to Count Dankula

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Rich in worth and comedy.

Human. To his very bone. Brave and enduring in a time of pussies and asshole globle asshole diggers.

Faced with the threat of imprisonment and bullshiting because of a dog and some little dick assholes burned in the memory modern day blue haired dumbasses.

He took to court and he was pronounced guilty. The fucking comedy of modern day first world problems. Now he spends his days busting his blog and making videos about the legendary evil bastards and other weird shit.

Now….in English.

Some fucking Scottish YouTube comedian did a joke involving a dog and some asshole named Hitler. Fuck I care. The shit wasn’t that funny and I lost interest. The comedy was seeing a dude go to court for a joke and be found guilty and then him making a failed bid as a politician to change the shit only to create the best comedy/weird shit about evil bastards of the past video series named mad lads.

I don’t care about his politics. Real talk. I love the dude for making me laugh and having an amazing sense of humor about the weird shit he went with the law. He’s a fighter and family man. I rock with both and I respect both.

Warm Regards

Guardiandogg

Is Technocrat Bill Gates Valentine from Kingsman? I think so. #overlordtheories

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I remember reading this dude’s book in the ninties and thinking..wow. What a interesting person.

Over the years I heard some wild shit about him over the interwebs. Now I’m thinking…wow. This fucker has to much power.

Pause.

Technocrat. Guardiandogg diffinition: A mother fucker that has some control over the internet, technology and the ears of world leaders.

In other words. A fucking king or Queen of the 21st century. But nobody says it out loud.

Bill Gates is a rich powerful overlord mother fucker. No bullshit. He’s a card carrying goble dumbass (we are the world peace la doe tree fucking bullshiting atheist) that believes that we should decrease world population. It’s a belief he really does have based on science shit and some bullshit. Did I mention he’s got money and power?

Hmm. Does any of this shit sound like it’s from a fucking movie?

Kingsman the first movie is a fantasy bullshit movie and the book was better. But, in real life if you had money and you were a smart overlord with a god complex wouldn’t you figure out a way to make dumbasses kiss your ass for the honor to kill themselves?

I’m a realist and the more money and power you have just means the more time you have to fuck with people instead of fucking a hot chicka on a table.

Fucker has to much power and money. He hasn’t worked an honest CEO job in fucking decades. He’s been running his mouth and running a goble fucking “charity”. To much fucking time on his hands but that isn’t the major issue with him I have….

He’s a fucking Boomer my dude.

A fucking Bommer on TV tellling me what the fuck I should put in my body and do with my life. Fuck that noise.

Warm Regards

Guardiandogg

Have you seen Artemis “parsley” patched bullshit shoe shit. My God. It’s the perfect shoe for a blind asshole.

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I’m an old fuck so I don’t follow the new shit only when I see an ad on YouTube or some other bullshit site. I have thoughts. Not many but questions really.

Holy shit.

What the fuck is this shit? It looks like someone with a design concept for patchwork monkey shit.

Why? Just why? Why can’t there be two or one color palette design. Why all this bullshit mix. I know you’ll say it’s the concept for patchwork or some bullshit like that. I know. But does it have to look like shit patched together with clown vomit.

What the fuck? That’s what I thought seeing the shit. I didn’t think huh interesting. I thought the fuck is this shit now.

That’s it.

Warm Regards

Guardiandogg

A bastardiced version of Powerpuff girls live action is coming. Nobody asked for the shit but CW provides it for you. Holy shit!

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Hello, I’m guardiandogg and I’m American Highlander bad ass nerd. Now that’s out of the way.

I love the OG powerpuff girls. Pure 90s cheesecake cartoon shit. Big heads included my dude. Fucking CW is making some bullshit live action shit of Powerpuff girls.

The bullshit cometh. The fucking show already looks like a big mac shit sandwich with no fries just a milk shake of piss. Fucking buttercup is a black power princess.

Holy shit.

Everybody knows fucking buttercup is an asian barbie land princess.

Holy shit.

Bitch!

Holy mother fucking bitch!

The 90s was a throw back to the 80s and now 2000s, 2010s, 2020s is a bizarre world of a throw back to creative mainstream shows going into the shitter.

What the fuck is in the water these brain dead western assholes drink…

bleach?

Or

Cocain?

Look my dude all joking aside. It is looking to be a lovely Monday morning in shit kicking Texas enjoy your day and go watch the OG powerpuff girls for a laugh at my silly ass.

Warm Regards

Guardiandogg

Brainstorming let’s take tomorrow people 1990s Let’s add some action and magic bullshit.

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There is no real action or combat with tomorrow people because they’re nonviolent pussies. I saw Jumper and read some shit on teleporters. But, that wouldn’t fit the world.

Tomorrow people evade and run. They’re not combative outright. But, they have the ability to teleport objects and people though. Wait. Fuck it. Let’s add some matrix shit. Mix..

Kevin Grey

End of book one or end of season 1

Adam

Kevin? I woke up beside Lisa. Where the fuck was Kevin. Peter was swimming in now. Lisa got up.

Kevin is in danger. He’s scared. Peter’s been shot I have to tend to him.

Lisa teleported away in a royal blue blaze of energy. I didn’t have time. I focused on Kevin and then felt for safe spot in his area. None. Shit. I was going in hot.

I ran at the wall and leaped into a kick. I kicked into dude that was choaking Kevin.

The asshole went flying but he wasn’t alone. Magic shit heads surrounded us. I grabbed Kevin and teleported.

A fucker grabbed me out of the jump but Kevin was already at the island. I was yanked into a desert.

A felt a gun to my head. His hand was on my throat. “Give me the location to the origin, freak.”

I came to my feet as he disappeared. I sent in echo out into the desert. A felt her. Betty. Shit. Not her. Not now.

She appeared behind me blocking my mind. “You took a chance in teleporting him away. You could have changed him. Like Kevin did Peter. Little brother.”

I smiled. “He had a gun to my head. It was the fasted solution to a problem but you would know better then me how easy is it to become what we are?”

“Are you asking to keep me from killing you?”

I turned as she shot out fire from her hand. We faced each other. She had a sword in her hand.

We circled each other. I stared at her. She smiled at me.

“Are you her…”

I frowned. “Brother? Yes. I’m her brother. You know it wasn’t easy learning our language on my own just to find out I wasn’t an alien from outer space.” I said and held up my hand when she draw her gun and the gun landed a mile a way.

“Nice. You would make a fine wizard lad once you lost your pussy mindset.”

I shrugged. “Your not my enemy. Can your partner swim?”

Betty stared at me and then laughed. “He isn’t my partner and he can’t swim at all. You’re different. If you bring my sister to me I’ll let you live.”

I held out my hand. I felt orgin fighting me. “Take my hand.”

Betty stared at me. “What is this?”

You belong to us not them. Ah! Shit. Come on dude. You got to be forgiving. We’re only human.

I felt orgin reprimanding me and pulling me home.

Betty snorted. “You really do love her. Damn. Na’aw. I don’t want to live on that stupid island and I like magic and the modern world to much. All I want is my sister.”

I dropped my hand. “You already have her. She’s in your mind and your in hers. No matter what bullshit they told. You still belong to us. Don’t forget that.” I said.

Betty nodded. “I hear you and I know. What is your name?”

“Adam. But, you already know that. I didn’t abandon you.” I said feeling Lisa and the Orgin calling me back.

Betty smiled. “I wasn’t talking about you. Your name isn’t Adam though. Orgins have names that reflect their position in the tribe. Yours is a very high position.”

“I know. But, I wasn’t among the first awoken. So I don’t accept the title.”

Betty shook her head. She studied me. “You are interesting. I killed your parents.” She told the lie with a straight face to hide an attack.

It still hurt but I learned something about her and Orgins.

I teleported into the Orgin as a wazard tried to stab me in the back. I stood before Kevin, Lisa and Pete was a short red haired girl. I estimated her height at full maturity at 5’7.

Pete frowned at me. I’m alien he-man warrior. I’m not a girl.

I glared at her. Stop distracting me.

Pete was a wild one now. Even after being shot in the chest.

Kevin folded his arms across his chest. “What did you learn from her that we can use?” He said having watched the whole thing through my mind and analyzed the lie and what I thought.

That was Kevin. That was what made him our current leader even at fifteen. I could feel his power growing.

She told me a lie in a truth. She can’t kill us.

Kevin nodded. We can’t kill her. What do we do now?

I shook my head sat on cross legged on the air. Lisa rolled her eyes at my show of power while Kevin and Pete grinned. Betty is a long term problem. We have to find Lisa’s mother and your parents and where they’re being held. But for right now it’s time to train.

Hot damn! I like it.

Warm Regards

Guardiandogg

Big dick envy it’s real and I don’t understand it?

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Even when I was a pussy I didn’t or couldn’t understand the shit. I would see it in other dudes throwing shade on other dudes and angry at a Chad for being well…a Chad but again I couldn’t rock with it still can’t.

Besides the whole self pity with a side of Jack Daniel’s my Black Rambo skin folk have an equal amount of envy jealous fury for shit kicking Chads, an Academic Bruce Lee Chad and other Black Rambos.

The shit is funny now because I can admit to myself but it can also be quite…hallarious.

Holy shot.

You can see coming in a dude when starts talking about sports and Chad comes into the mix. They try to play it cool but then the mild shade comes into the mix targeted on a Chad.

Big dick envy comes into the mix. Black Rambo never cries unless it’s to get some money, he’s a pussy or well his addicted to dick.

Black Rambo puts up a tough front and bitches like a five year old about the Chad in question. Some may confuse this to be rage or angry outburst but you know when it’s bitching when the subject matter has got something to do with a Chad and a big dick.

Strangly though I’ve never seen or heard a Puerto Rican Cassinova bitch about a Chad….I wonder why? Maybe, I don’t know enough Puerto Ricans Cassinovas?

Warm Regards

Guardiandogg