An Ode to Western Masculine legacy

That shit with the Walker CW horse shit kinda pulled out of me a bit of memories from the past. Memories about my own father.

What does it mean to be a man of the west? Our traditions seem but mist in the air in these strange and Peter Pan fantasy days.

I can wish to be a man. I conceive of it if I dream and look up at the north star and cast my childest hopes there to never never land. But it would be bullshit really.

A man has duties and sense of honor. A man has a name that name is his word. It is his pledge of responsibility to his ancestors before him. Who did hope and work to achieve a modest means of a future they handed down and down to him to carry on and to uphold a legacy of honor and pride in the stories of courage buried deep in blood and Iron.

A man is not a pussy. A man faces the realities of life with grit and gusto. A man is born in conflict. Self doubt comes but a father’s words and stories push a man on. To fight and war against fear and pirates of destiny.

Some men fought and died defending the truth. Some men gave in to riches and traded their future for sex and selfish living.

What will you do? What will we do? We men of the west?

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

Just some Random bullshit Walker reboot of Chuck Norris classic show

As a general rule. I don’t watch American television. It’s to much bullshit for me. I’m going to and from work for a few weeks now and have noticed some adds on the side of public busses.

Walker on the CW.

My thoughts at first glance. Hmm. My bullshit meter is going off. I don’t give a shit though so I ignore the shit for a week and then I notice the word reboot on the add.

No. That can’t be.

For those not in the know. Back in the oldies of the 1990s. My grandmother and I like to watch a show called Walker Texas Ranger. Staring Chuck Norris. The show is a simple idea.

Chuck Norris shooting bad guys and kicking them in the face. They have some bullshit stories in between and sitcom drama but in general the formula is the same.

Now flashforward to the cybor punk depression era of today. I decide to find a trailer of Walker. I get a few seconds into it and my bullshit meter is at code red.

For some reason the dude from supernatural is playing Walker. Chuck mother fucking Norris. Okay. That’s five points taken. For some reason it feels like a supernatural feel to it. That’s ten points. For some reason Walker sounds and talks like a pussy.

I can just hear it in his voice. Chuck Norris. Excuse me. Chuck mother fucking Norris isn’t a pussy. He’s a shit kicker bad ass legend that shook Bruce Lee’s hand. He ain’t no pussy.

They’ve taken a story idea from one of the original episodes about Walker’s first wife and him simping about her and being a bitch with a bitch face about it.

Here’s the thing. I saw that episode. It might have been a two part story long. The dude that killed his wife lite a fucking fire in Walker and that changed him into a force of hardcore mother fucking texas justice. He blazed a war path on criminals asses in Texas that made him a mother fucking legend. When a criminal heard Walker is coming that meant surrender or die bitch.

Big dick energy my dude. A true Lone Star shit kicking mother fucking cowboy.

This shit has got to stop. I couldn’t finish the trailer. Five seconds in and no criminal ass was kicked? No one was shot in the dick? What the fuck is this shit?

Holy shit. It’s the CW so who the fuck is going to see this shit? Nobody. Thank God.

Jack pants shitting Dorsey!

I think CW is where manhood goes to fucking die a slow and painful death.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

SSH or as I like to call it from chad to bitch ass simp

The socio-sexual hierarchy inspired by Vox Day

The Chad sits at the top he is the leader and anker of the male group. He’s the jokerster, if there is a female around then he’s the dude that is charming the panties off a shorty with a smile and a grin. He isn’t a bad guy. He’s the guy everybody likes. The man looked to when the shit hits the fan to lead the men through the shit.

Notable mentions: Chadwick boseman (holy shit)

Bravo is second to the Chad in domance and leadership. He’s the wing man and the dude that can be counted on to to keep the order of the group and make sure the chad’s orders get done.

Mr. Delta is the middle man of a group. Able to follow orders and commands and demands respect in his field and effort for the group. Often the social able gentleman always up for the brothers at work to have a laugh at him.

Gamma Gamma mother fucking bitch. This asshole is the work place shit starter. When everyone is trying to get shit done this asshole is trying sniff shorties and piss off the Chad by being a trouble starting bitch. Holy shit.

Pause.

My guy have you ever been around a dude that just don’t want to get along. He got to say some fucked up shit on the sly and piss off the group because the dick head is jealous of the fucking chad’s hot ass wife.

Holy shit. This bitch ass is no end of trouble. The minute he’s caught in some bullshit of his own making this bitch ass tries to flip that shit on some one else and act like he’s the offended party and then trying to hit up the Delta’s wife on the low. Holy shit. This bitch is a shepherd for the devil. A male with a masters degree in female bullshit. Holy mother fucking shit.

Sigma. The quiet one. Often fucked with a little . temperamental failure in multiple shit tests. Expert in his field of study. You got to watch this dude and keep a distance because he smells like shit.

The Outsider. The lone wolf. The seducer of the females and the dominant figure people look to when the chad isn’t around.  He knows the SSH order of things but he don’t give a shit. He knows enough to not get muscled into the alpha position. Fuck that nosie he wants to do his own thing and not be fitted into a fucking box.

Pause.

This dude is a fucking mystery dude and he ain’t one to agree to be controlled or led by the alpha anywhere my dude. He does have a minor fault. If you see him beating the shit out of talkative, shit talking, trouble making asshole clown. You can bet money on that shit that it’s a gamma that he’s getting the business end of royal flush beat down.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

An Ode to the lone Star state of shit kickers and check cashers

How bitter sweet is the air I breath? Bitter with the scent of conflict and self induced continuous internal battles.

I was born in the highlands of East Baltimore. Raised well into adult age in comfort and contentment. My homeland I have not seen well beyond a fortnights time.

I came here a dreamer with nightmares in my eyes and haunted days of fear behind me. I am a bard of sorrows journey.

Then one morning I arrived in the land of the lone star shit kickers and saw ranchers leading horses across the fucking road and I thought.

Holy shit. What fuck kind a place did I arrive in?

I kid you not my dude. Fucking horses being led across the highway. Holy shit.

That shit was a sign. I had just stepped into the lone star state my dude.

My tale is unfolding. My growth is continuing. Two and half years in the pussy I was seems like a lifetime ago. In this strange place of rough and real traditions and history of bold and iron I find myself a man.

This place of shit kicking cowboys of puerto rican Cassinova charmers. This place.

The West. This place where comedy and rhythm formed in my mind and I laugh and I do grieve the parting of my youthful innocents and I do welcome the gusto and embracing of my own path to manhood. On the lone star roads my feet walk to rhythm.

The road of conflict. The road of a ride that just doesn’t end.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

I need some shit kicking boots my dude..

I’ve been wearing sneakers for twenty plus years. I’ve had the occasional timberland ass kicking books but being around lone star shit kicking cowboys walking around in

Shit kicking boots I’m getting the itch for some. Immortal brown leather and hard leather heels.

I look down at my trusty and reliable but beat up New Ballance. Two years in mother fuckers. They feel good but don’t last long for shit. I’m tired of this shit.

I was at work and I saw a young 5’5 puerto rican Cassinova rocking some smooth looking shit kickers. Brown immortal leather aged with time and the countless shit tests of life. The boots looked like he got that shit handed down to him by his great grandfather, son. I was like, damn I’m jealous as fuck. I got to get me some of those.

I’m doing my research as we speak. I’m going all out. I want some shit kickers that can stand the test of ten years time and kick the shit out of life and some out of line asshole.

I’m going to treat myself for the next eighty years to some fine quailty control premium shit kicking boots.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

I ain’t a Black Rambo. I’m a mother fucking Highlander. A prince of the mother fucking universe

Real talk my guy

I was born in the hills of east Baltimore. The son of a Black Rambo nomad badass. My mother a black power princess daughter of a cocain high Lord Democrat.

I grew up in between the highlands of Baltimore my father’s lands and the low lands of North Carolina my mother’s land. I spent the remainder of my first half of my life in the highlands studying to be a bard and picking up skills here and there.

Right around sixteen my dude I hit the quickening. No joke my dude. Fire and ice hit my body for a moment and I pasted out with a collection of Robert Frost poetry in my hand. I stopped fucking aging at sixteen years old. Same age my mother gave me my first sword.

I didn’t notice this shit because I had my head in a book and was trying to be a poet like my hero Robert Frost. My dream was to be a bard/scholar on his level at least. That’s my dude. I rock with his shit hard in my younger years.

Anyway, fast forward a couple of years. It finally hit me when I have fucking twenty year olds thinking I was around their age or younger added on to that I was at my gym (job) yesterday and I realized I had gotten fucking stronger from two years ago.

Holy shit. The quickening hit then and there. The power went out in the building and I had young dudes looking at me weird because lightening bolts were flashing out of my guns my dude. Holy shit! I can’t live in denial for fifty more years.

I’m a highlander my dude. A prince of the mother fucking universe.

My story continues….

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

Conflict and trial!? I vap that shit and it tastes like bubblegum cotton candy

I grew up raised by a single mother. Enough said. I was a pussy for most of my life until shit got real and life decided to put me on front street and give me the shit test finally.

I stood in front of a hospital bed where my mother was dying of some shit I didn’t  understand. Fuck I still don’t understand to this day. One year ago she was healthy one year later I got to make plans for her fucking burial having to decide how much money I could spend and whether I could honor my ancestor’s wishes.

I couldn’t and the dishonor follows me like a demon today.

I learned a lesson that she couldn’t teach me in those months in my PSD hours when my own failures haunted me every waking hour. Life has it’s Joy’s and life has it’s series of shit tests.

I swam in pools of despair for months and then one mother fucking old G’s words in stilled in me the words to what I was learning.

“Life is conflict. Conflict is the air we breath and the water we swim in.

Get used to it. Embrace it and live for it because the ride doesn’t end.” – VD

That mother fucker spoke some real shit. He had been through some real shit. My spirit brother lite a fire in my ass.

It took a while to fully compute. Even now I’m still growing into the mindset.

My friends I ain’t telling you this shit to cry for me. You been through the shit test too. It’s what we do. Fuck despair and her bitch twin sister depression. Bitches didn’t do shit for me but try to suck me dry and stop me from planning my mother’s funeral and keeping me at a stand still when I had to move.

Fuck um. Fuck um both with a Iron rod no lube. I back hand those bitches now a days and put them in their fucking place under my boot and kissing my fucking toes.

I’m here to delight your day and make you life lighter at my silly ass. I find joy in that. Mere words can bless and provide warmth on a cold season in life and laughter for the soul sweet.

Warm Regards

Guardiandogg

Holy shit crept keeper Joe is on a roll

Holy shit!

Holy mother-fucking shit!

The fucking ride doesn’t end. I don’t know about you my friend but we are living in exciting times. No other country on this god forsaken planet can dream and hope and pray for a fucking crept keeper corpse to be the next president and be surprised when

Shit starts hitting the fan when we get what we asked for. Hey, I didn’t vote for the corpse and chief but fuck it. I’m in this shit with my fellow dumbass.

Mother fuckers are surprised they didn’t get the high prized hocker and cocain they were promised now that Big-T is out playing golf and sitting on a bed of money wondering what mother fucker will he sue first for liable.

Holy shit! That sound your hearing is me shitting myself with laughter. Please sweet Jesus let the fucker live for two more years. I need some joy in my life.

I’m sitting in a financial depression and surrounded by a confederacy of dunces that can’t see it.

[Ten points to my book nerd family if you guessed the reference correctly.]

Holy shit!

No.

Hot damn! What a time to be alive.

We live in a time of historical events. A time of testing and a time we few, we proud and inheritors of the rebel blood of independent soldiers get the shit test.

In other words, get some balls and strap in and ride this mother fucker until the wheels come off.

[A hundred points to my comedy family if you get the last line.]

Warm Regards

Guardiandogg

What does it mean to be a man?

The question of manhood?

I’ve spent almost the whole of my youth and adult years wrestling with this question. I’ve set it a side at times in favor of focusing on crafting a life for myself or perfecting my art of the written word. But, the question never really goes away or the need to put away childish mindsets for the freedom and some times hardships of being a man.

What brings on these thoughts now in a blog post?

In the continuing series in the Life of A Prince, The Engagement, The Gathering and the last book still forthcoming  I’ve written about men of different backgrounds and character traits and shades of masculine natures. These archetypes of manhood didn’t come easy for me to craft into the story in my limited experiences being in the company of strong male figures. Most of my experiences have come from books, observations and analyzing whether or not a male could keep his word or valued his own word because I was also experienced having male figures in my life not keep their promises or word to me.

I grew up for a large half of my life without my Dad’s influences from the age of 11 when my father died of cancer. I have had misty recollections of him when I was a child to this current time and I have struggled at times throughout my life keeping his template in my thoughts. My father was strong of Christian male character and valued physical exercise and loyalty to family and friends. Though, he wasn’t faultless because he was indeed mortal and a man. He had his human pride and anger. He made mistakes and had to learn to be a man without even knowing who his own father was.

We both grew up into adulthood without a father figure in our lives. We both shared that common thread of many black men. Though, my Dad became more of a man much faster then I for whatever strange reason. My lessons came much more harder. Still, this isn’t a complaint. Life isn’t easy or simple and I have never seen any value in complaining about the faults of humans in my life both past and present in falling short of honesty and perfection. What I learned the hard way I hope to write stories and show examples for other young males on the quest for manhood to see and learn from the easy way.

But, I can not finish this post without answering my own question as best as I can. Though, I am still a semi/self taught student of the subject.

What does it mean to be a man? 

A man is of a strong moral character. He doesn’t abandon his responsibilities or shrink away from the trials of life. A man faces the challenges of life and strives to overcome no matter his disadvantages born with or thrust upon his body or life. He does not give in to evil but overcomes evil with righteous.

L.M. Parker