I grew up raised by a single mother. Enough said. I was a pussy for most of my life until shit got real and life decided to put me on front street and give me the shit test finally.
I stood in front of a hospital bed where my mother was dying of some shit I didn’t understand. Fuck I still don’t understand to this day. One year ago she was healthy one year later I got to make plans for her fucking burial having to decide how much money I could spend and whether I could honor my ancestor’s wishes.
I couldn’t and the dishonor follows me like a demon today.
I learned a lesson that she couldn’t teach me in those months in my PSD hours when my own failures haunted me every waking hour. Life has it’s Joy’s and life has it’s series of shit tests.
I swam in pools of despair for months and then one mother fucking old G’s words in stilled in me the words to what I was learning.
“Life is conflict. Conflict is the air we breath and the water we swim in.
Get used to it. Embrace it and live for it because the ride doesn’t end.” – VD
That mother fucker spoke some real shit. He had been through some real shit. My spirit brother lite a fire in my ass.
It took a while to fully compute. Even now I’m still growing into the mindset.
My friends I ain’t telling you this shit to cry for me. You been through the shit test too. It’s what we do. Fuck despair and her bitch twin sister depression. Bitches didn’t do shit for me but try to suck me dry and stop me from planning my mother’s funeral and keeping me at a stand still when I had to move.
Fuck um. Fuck um both with a Iron rod no lube. I back hand those bitches now a days and put them in their fucking place under my boot and kissing my fucking toes.
I’m here to delight your day and make you life lighter at my silly ass. I find joy in that. Mere words can bless and provide warmth on a cold season in life and laughter for the soul sweet.