Tag: fun

A message to readers: Always remember if I’m bullshiting it’s only to make you smile

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Let me say this again.

If I’m bullshiting it’s only to make you smile or God willing laugh at my silly ass.

We go through a lot of bullshit to feed our family’s to better ourselves and gain more opportunities to get ahead of the coming shit storm.

I’m not trying to add to the shit you have to carry. I’m trying make the shit bearable to lift and maybe bench press for fun.

I got one thing I can do well in the weirdest times of my life. I can weave some light delight out of a streaming hill of bullshit.

I am a bard of sorrowful stories who vaps depression with taste of cutton candy blueberry cream delight.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

I’m An American Highlander so it goes without question I am not a passive non violent modern pussy

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I remembered the moment I knew what the fuck my moral codes were when I was reading a book some twenty or thirty years ago and I thought yeah. I would kill that bitch if he tried to rape my wife.

I don’t remember the title it was to damn long ago.

Let me start from the beginning. I was reading a book from the library about a Christian community making it’s way through the west in the 1800s. They were way laid by outlaws. The women raped and the men killed. There was one soul survivor. A young woman  Claire. A native American man, Hank rescued her and married (claimed) her while helping her get home to her people. They go through some real shit together and he teaches her the realities of the evil of mankind and what’s worth fighting for.

They meet up again with another branch of the outlaws as they are about to murder Claire’s remaining kin and have captured her and forced her husband out. They give Hank the work and are about to kill him in front of her. Her male cousins and the rest of the group ain’t doing shit to help Hank or stop it. Their pussies and don’t believe in any kind of violence.

Claire ain’t having that shit and she being a righteous christian knows her duty. The outlaws ignore her and think she ain’t doing shit. She grabs a gun from an outlaw and shoots the fucker that was about to murder her husband in the head. A short fight takes place between her and the outlaw leader and she shots the outlaw leader’s knee out and holds the leader hostage with a shot gun to his head.

Everybody freezes. They know what’s up. Claire stares um down.

“Let my husband go you evil mother fuckers or your fucking leader is about to lose his fucking head.”

Holy shit. That was sexy ass shit. My dude. Give me a female that got your fucking back when you ain’t looking and will protect your children with a forty-five and a shot gun. That’s some sexy ass shit my dude.

Hank is busted and bleeding from his nose and eyes but he gets to his feet and snags a pistol from one of the outlaws and backs her up. Claire got that shit done and I paused in reading this story of fine art fiction. That shit shook me.

I thought. Yeah. I would do the same damn thing. I would kill any fucker that tried to rape/kill my female or kill my child in front of me without question. Any dude that would hesitate or think me weird for saying the shit. My answer for them would be…

Go fuck yourself.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

That time I took a fencing class…

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It was the turn of the century the beginning of a new decade. It was a time when the globe wars were in their infancy and the stable of GOP war hoes were in charge at the promission of cocain pimp Democrats.

It was the age of Bush and Dick.

In fall of a few years from when the war drums for 911 were sounded I took a class in the art and combat of fencing. A dream of mean for many years in my childhood. When I watched endless seasons of the Highlander and saw many a movie never was realizing I was taken the steps into my own legacy.

A tiny elf of undetermined years was my teacher in group of twenty nobles and high and low born. Her name was Lady S. Her silver blond hair glowed under the gym lights she only smiled a few times and had a scratchy voice of an ancient one of wisdom.

We were given school helmets and armor.  Foils would be our weapons for first of three. Foil, Epee and Saber.

We were instructed in the rules in general and warm ups. Foils have their own style and history as do many blades. The Saber came to be my favorite though I was mid way learner at best.

The weeks followed and pasted into spring. Out of the bunch two Black Rambos rained Supreme of us all in the three sword styles. We had a stage of combat and point of face off. The rules were simple but the strategy and exercise was intense.

Lancelot and John the good of Forest Park cousins from the house brovido.

The time came for the ending of the season. Lady S was old school of course so she told us that top grade of the class would go only to one. The winner of the final test. A tournament of styles.

We matched blades in sword styles of our choices. I beat three of my fellow students but was bested by Lancelot. Then came time for the final match. Lancelot faced off against his own blood John the good in a one on one match best out of three.

They’re blades clicked and smacked against each other and then it ended with one smack. John the good won by one point.

To celebrate Lady S ended the class in one last event a free brawl for all. What the fucking hell is that you might ask.

We started facing against each other swords banging and two on three combatants at a time. Some black rambo asshole kept coming up behind me and smacking the back of my helmet with his saber and that was the end my of trainning in the sword. I didn’t get to take off any heads that day but it was a fun time.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

Where’s the bullshit? The game not on consoles

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I don’t mean to do it. It just comes to me sometimes when I hear an absolute statement or someone’s trying to sell me something.

That’s nice but where’s the bullshit?

I don’t watch the news or listen to a politician speak on what they’re planning or whose the “real” enemy because automatically I find myself thinking.

Okay. Now where’s the bullshit?

Because I know humans in general do a lot of bullshiting. You can only trust someone completely when they’re telling you who they are.

Example. Ben Shaprio. I remember watching the Rubin Report long time ago. It was an early interview. Where Dave talked with Shaprio about his personal political beliefs and what matters to him.

Shaprio was open and honest about his classical Liberal beliefs and of course he points out that he is a jew a number of times on the show.

He talks about being jewish a lot. So I know two things. He is a classical Liberal (whatever the hell that means now a days) and he cares strongly about being a jew and America protecting Israel and fighting against Israel’s enemies. He values his Jewishness as he should it’s his heritage and he is a citizen of Israel of course.

What struck me was how nakedly honest he was about being a liberal. Of course he wouldn’t say I am a liberal blue dog. He has a wife and kids to feed and asses to kiss. His whole stick is being a bullshit artist for the GOP stable of Hoes. But, that’s what he is from his own lips.

We all bullshit. When someone tells you trust me this is exactly what’s going on or your silly or dumb for thinking something else.

My questions are. Why do you give a fuck? Are you paying my fucking bills, bitch?

And…

Where’s the bullshit?

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

What the hell is MGTOW? Part 1 the argument and the bullshit

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Men going their own way. Everything is in the name and yet face value what the hell does that name mean?

MGTOW for the few not in the know is a movement about it’s about men being unsatisfied with the current generation of the west in it’s treatment of men in law and society. There is a conflict between men being treated like shit and females having a superior role in some aspects over males.

Their right.

A post modern western female has the first and final say on children being born and they a higher advantage in court in matters of divorce. The American government as one example acts as a go between in family dynamics and has acted in acting fucking up generations of Americans. The risk for a man in getting married is high. The risk for a female is low and more profitable.

Yep.. there is a lot of conflict and opposition in thinking about marrying or even having children in the west.

Conflict and opposition. For some reason those two words make me taste cotton candy in my mouth.

Anway, MGTOW proponents then choose not to march to that tune of society and go their own way.

What way is that? Well for the most part it’s whoring and buying a motorcycle.

Sure there are videos, articles and books about going out and finding your “purpose” and making the money so you can buy a big house to bang hot chickas in or funny videos about men being real in front of females and them being shocked and offended. That’s it.

Hmm. Now what brings this up? I’ve seen MGTOW videos in passing and videos by males that carry that same tune. I couldn’t place it at first but there’s always been something about MGTOW that has made me ignore it or find it slightly annoying or funny.

Yeah. Funny. I found MGTOW very funny yesterday when I realized what was bothering me about the whole movement to somewhere I would never go. I like motorcycles but fucking random western woman that are against me on some basic fundamental level never was my thing.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it often again. Life is conflict. Conflict is the air we breath. It is the water we swim in.

It’s not my saying but it is one I take to heart.

There is no conflict in being a MGTOW. It is for the most part selfish living and whoring. That’s not a movement that’s a Los Vegas vacation.

Hey if that’s what you want to do? You’ve already left the ring before the round began. You don’t get the Chad belt for banging a hocker at a expansive hotel instead of challenging a rival in war for your society for this shit will proceed for the next a hundred years.

No my dude. Call it what it is. You just walked away from a fight because the other guy appeared stronger then you. This is the west. You can be a whore but not the Chad.

There is a lot of bullshit in MGTOW. I just find interesting.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

You know I thought Black History month was in January that’s how much I didn’t give a damn

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I really did my dude. I really did and still do don’t care. I remember when I did care. It was when I was younger. My black power princess mother cared alot about that shit.

I remembered having to watch Roots on tv and Rosewood at the movies because someone asked me about Slavery when I was eleven and I really did not give a shit to give a thoughtful answer.

My black power princess mother was pissed off at me and I got earful of how much a dumb ass I was about not knowing about shit I didn’t care about in a nice way.

It became her quest to get me educated. From the movies we watched to books I was made to read. I hated the shit for the most part.

I liked Malcom X and read a bit of his autobiography and I saw the movie. MLK. Yep. I’ll get to him later.

I read the learning tree when I was in college. It was a interesting read. I got that shit. I could relate some what to that character of the book.

Martin Luther King Jr. I read a book about him when I was a kid. Everything you need to know about This person kind of book. It told me everything and more some about the MLK’s life you wanted to know, didn’t know and that was not so flattering to know. That shit was raw facts and no bullshit edition.

You got to understand. I’m a realist and a highlander. There are very few black people I respect personally. Real talk.

MLK. If he were alive today I wouldn’t go to same church as him my dude. Real talk. Everything about him is counter to me and my own beliefs. We skin cousins if that and nothing more. I can’t relate to him on any level.

I keep the shit to myself but I’m telling you so keep it a secret. Some of my skin folks and a few blue haired dumbass folk worship the dude. I’m talking bow down to his statutes my dude and memorize his speeches and all like bible verses.

Naw my dude. Miss me with that. I didn’t even worship my own black Rambo daddy my dude. He was a real one.

I respected Malcom X as a real one. His story was interesting and inspiring in a way but I use respect in a general sense based on what I know of how he carried himself. I didn’t know him. I know of him. The people I respect on a personal level are the people I know and who’ve earned it. I don’t give away respect to anybody. I don’t give a damn who you are. You can earn it and you can lose it by how you carry yourself and how you treat me and how you keep it real.

I’m a highlander so I don’t care that much about a month in the span of human history. It is funny though. What people choose to remember and what choose to ignore.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

Crept Keeper Biden…he just gives off that beta bitch feel

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Now I’m going to be speaking on Black Rambo SSH lingo. I was raised one and until my first quickening at sixteen I would have remained one.

Crept Keeper Biden. I got to be honest. He just gives off that Beta bitch feel my dude. Sure he’s an old fucker with one last girl to sniff and then that bitch is done but still did he ever have the alpha flow. Hell no.

He never had a gangster lean and or an ounce of Alpha dominant confidence in his fucking life my dude. Now he’s an older fucker sitting in a chair while demon’s whisper in his ear.

No shine. No gusto. No flow. He used to have alpha speech flow. Now. He’s just an old fucker. Lord knows how long this fucker will live. If he isn’t dead already and we’re seeing a fucking zumbie puppet on a string.

Fucking hell.

People voted for this shit. Fucking boring. War and more taxes. Fucking boring. Same old shit.

I thank God I got more shit to be concerned about these days. Not enough conflict and pull with that dude.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

You know twitter is a lovely site (comedy)

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It isn’t nice to go on a website and…

I can’t do it. I was planning on bullshiting all the way through this shit with a nut busting line at the end.

Fuck all that noise. I fucking hate twitter. I do. It ain’t the shit. It’s a mother fucking shit pool of everyone elses shit. It’s a wasteland of female bullshit and absolutely dick picks and hell. Pure hell.

The one fucking rule they had from the jump was you can say whatever you want and put up almost anything you want but that’s bullshit to. You can be a shit head as long as your not on the wrong end of the wrong political party.

Holy fucking shit.

I can’t stand it. I had to shut my shit down. I couldn’t stand hearing the stupid rambling thoughts of people that didn’t know shit talking about shit that don’t know about. It’s a fucking shithole.

The market place of ideas?!

Holy shit.

The digital townhall for hearing from celebrities and politicians??!

Holy shit!!

That’s some grade-A bullshit. Still you got smart people on the shit only because they want to be in garbage dump of shit fighting against assholes that don’t give a shit.

Holy shit! Wait? What the fuck is smart about fighting in shit against shit heads?

Fuck it. To each his own shit or whatever.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

The phantom: Legazy & The Law (book nerd shit)

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I rock with the phantom my dude. Purple jump suit and 1911s at his sides my dude. I just got a recent graphic novel that is a two book combo in one.

Legazy is mixture of stylish art with a depiction of a story I love dearly. The script and poetic pose of the character telling the story is delious poetry for the lyrical junky and for the bard’s soul it’s rich in song and rhythm.

True magical storytelling.

The story is classic and original. One man dawning his own destiny with a vow on the dead scowl of the bastard that killed his father cold. One man vows to take up the cause to fight piracy, greed, and injustice. On the sea sores of a beach of his destiny he vows and does craft is own true immortal destiny.

Real shit.

The second book The Law is a interesting tale. Told from the prospective of the phantom’s would be enemy.

Again, rich in poetry and melodies for the internal ear to hear. Delicious in creative pose and a nice change of pace for customed hero. A legend of timeless treasure.

I got it on the cheap surprisingly on Amazon. However, the quality of the printing makes me think it was previously owned by a knockoff version of a true book nerd.

It’s sown and heavyly glued. Sown quality is okay. The glue is the only thing holding the book together properly. Again for the price you get what you get. However if I had the means I would get it bound in cowhide leather and sown properly better.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

GOP hoe theories: Mike Pence is a dumbass hoe

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Yeah.

I’ve been thinking on this shit a lot lately. Now for those not in the know. A GOP hoe is a mother fucker that will say he’s defending the rights of the people on his team. But what this bitch will do when the time comes to act will do contray to they said they will do.

Call a spade a spade my dude. You got a dude at work you work with. You need a ride to work one morning because the car don’t work. You ask him for a ride. He says sure. But his ass don’t show up.

You make it to work some how and ask him about it. He gives you an excuse sounds solid but the bullshit radar is up now.

You get into another jam. Same thing and the bitch don’t show up even after he gave you his word. You find out later he’s friends with some asshole you don’t rock with at work and the asshole told your “friend” to fuck with you. Do you get me?

Mike Pence is a bitch ass hoe for big Daddy Pimp DNC. It’s the hoeing business you see. Those in the business and those getting the business the suckers and johns and those watching the shit for what it is my dude. I mean come on would you trust a dude that turned on a dime against his own supposed “boss”?

Get the fuck out of here my dude.

Us vs them. The elites vs the peasant class. You on my team if your getting fucked in taxes or your son and my son are sent to another fucking war for someone’s sexual addiction. The more things change….well you know the rest.

Mike Pence isn’t a turn coat shit bag. He’s dumbass hoe working in the hoeing business.

Hot damn. The first funny dumbass shit of the year. More will be coming.

It was something to see. You need to know what a dude will do if you get jammed up in a corner. Will he be in the shit with you or will he turn and stab you in side my dude for favor or some silver. Real talk.

Traitors are bitches. You know it. I know it. Jesus knew it when the fucker dipped his bread in his cup my dude. That bitch looked the Lord in the eye and ran like bitch in the night to get that silver my dude.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

The Ip man series of movies is the shit..baring the shine against white folks

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I can’t get over how enjoyable those movies are. As a martial arts fan in general I love the dance and by play of the mix of styles and presentations.

The history…well I could give two shits about. It’s got some bullshit in the movies and some creative license with notion of ever white dude from America being a hulking giant with super human strength.

I see that shit as the comical side of things. If you take it as comedy. Holy shit is that stuff funny as hell.

Danny Yang is straight star my dude. I’ve watched his other shit and he owns his roles and takes the art of action star premium big dick style.

Awesome dude.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg