Tag: entertaining

You know twitter is a lovely site (comedy)

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It isn’t nice to go on a website and…

I can’t do it. I was planning on bullshiting all the way through this shit with a nut busting line at the end.

Fuck all that noise. I fucking hate twitter. I do. It ain’t the shit. It’s a mother fucking shit pool of everyone elses shit. It’s a wasteland of female bullshit and absolutely dick picks and hell. Pure hell.

The one fucking rule they had from the jump was you can say whatever you want and put up almost anything you want but that’s bullshit to. You can be a shit head as long as your not on the wrong end of the wrong political party.

Holy fucking shit.

I can’t stand it. I had to shut my shit down. I couldn’t stand hearing the stupid rambling thoughts of people that didn’t know shit talking about shit that don’t know about. It’s a fucking shithole.

The market place of ideas?!

Holy shit.

The digital townhall for hearing from celebrities and politicians??!

Holy shit!!

That’s some grade-A bullshit. Still you got smart people on the shit only because they want to be in garbage dump of shit fighting against assholes that don’t give a shit.

Holy shit! Wait? What the fuck is smart about fighting in shit against shit heads?

Fuck it. To each his own shit or whatever.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

The phantom: Legazy & The Law (book nerd shit)

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I rock with the phantom my dude. Purple jump suit and 1911s at his sides my dude. I just got a recent graphic novel that is a two book combo in one.

Legazy is mixture of stylish art with a depiction of a story I love dearly. The script and poetic pose of the character telling the story is delious poetry for the lyrical junky and for the bard’s soul it’s rich in song and rhythm.

True magical storytelling.

The story is classic and original. One man dawning his own destiny with a vow on the dead scowl of the bastard that killed his father cold. One man vows to take up the cause to fight piracy, greed, and injustice. On the sea sores of a beach of his destiny he vows and does craft is own true immortal destiny.

Real shit.

The second book The Law is a interesting tale. Told from the prospective of the phantom’s would be enemy.

Again, rich in poetry and melodies for the internal ear to hear. Delicious in creative pose and a nice change of pace for customed hero. A legend of timeless treasure.

I got it on the cheap surprisingly on Amazon. However, the quality of the printing makes me think it was previously owned by a knockoff version of a true book nerd.

It’s sown and heavyly glued. Sown quality is okay. The glue is the only thing holding the book together properly. Again for the price you get what you get. However if I had the means I would get it bound in cowhide leather and sown properly better.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

The 5’11 puerto rican Chad at work

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I have new manager at work. Well he’s an old manager from another manager from a previous shift I worked.

He’s the typical chad and a dude that respects the group over him but demands and commands obedience.

Good looking. Check.

Gusto and charm. Check.

Looks you in the eye and smiles all the damn time and only gets pissed if well your an asshole.

He’s a dude without a hint of gamma, gamma mother fucking bitch on him.

He’s puerto rican Cassinova chad. So you why he’s so damn confident.

Big dick energy my dude.

Not because he’s an asshole. It’s logical. The shit has to get done. That’s the mindset for a typical chad. They can be charming. They can flirt with a shorty the minute she comes around but overall. There about goals being met and shit getting done.

You can joke with him but don’t fuck with him because he’ll put your ass on notice clear you of any delusion. He ain’t no gamma, gamma mother fucking punk ass bitch.

I get on with him well. He respects me. I respect him. He’s even asked me if I thought of moving up the SSH. I’ve thought about but I achieved my goals for now and I’m always about doing my own thing. I get bored and I like to move.

Anyway, great dude. Fucker as the makings of running the damn company in ten years.

Warm, Regards

Guardiandogg

SSH or as I like to call it from chad to bitch ass simp

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The socio-sexual hierarchy inspired by Vox Day

The Chad sits at the top he is the leader and anker of the male group. He’s the jokerster, if there is a female around then he’s the dude that is charming the panties off a shorty with a smile and a grin. He isn’t a bad guy. He’s the guy everybody likes. The man looked to when the shit hits the fan to lead the men through the shit.

Notable mentions: Chadwick boseman (holy shit)

Bravo is second to the Chad in domance and leadership. He’s the wing man and the dude that can be counted on to to keep the order of the group and make sure the chad’s orders get done.

Mr. Delta is the middle man of a group. Able to follow orders and commands and demands respect in his field and effort for the group. Often the social able gentleman always up for the brothers at work to have a laugh at him.

Gamma Gamma mother fucking bitch. This asshole is the work place shit starter. When everyone is trying to get shit done this asshole is trying sniff shorties and piss off the Chad by being a trouble starting bitch. Holy shit.

Pause.

My guy have you ever been around a dude that just don’t want to get along. He got to say some fucked up shit on the sly and piss off the group because the dick head is jealous of the fucking chad’s hot ass wife.

Holy shit. This bitch ass is no end of trouble. The minute he’s caught in some bullshit of his own making this bitch ass tries to flip that shit on some one else and act like he’s the offended party and then trying to hit up the Delta’s wife on the low. Holy shit. This bitch is a shepherd for the devil. A male with a masters degree in female bullshit. Holy mother fucking shit.

Sigma. The quiet one. Often fucked with a little . temperamental failure in multiple shit tests. Expert in his field of study. You got to watch this dude and keep a distance because he smells like shit.

The Outsider. The lone wolf. The seducer of the females and the dominant figure people look to when the chad isn’t around.  He knows the SSH order of things but he don’t give a shit. He knows enough to not get muscled into the alpha position. Fuck that nosie he wants to do his own thing and not be fitted into a fucking box.

Pause.

This dude is a fucking mystery dude and he ain’t one to agree to be controlled or led by the alpha anywhere my dude. He does have a minor fault. If you see him beating the shit out of talkative, shit talking, trouble making asshole clown. You can bet money on that shit that it’s a gamma that he’s getting the business end of royal flush beat down.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

Robinhood cucked to Wall Street gangsters faster then a whore on Bill Clinton’s dick

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Holy shit

Holy mother fucking shit.

This bitch ass company. This mother fucking bitch ass company got it’s first shit test and cucked like a mother fucking simp when a shorty smiles at them asks for a ride to her boyfriend’s house.

Holy shit.

A company named robinhood took the fucking ticket and gave up the panties too.

Holy shit.

I’m riding the line between pissed off to laughing my ass off this shit. I got fucking money in this bitch ass company. They just failed their first shit test. Damn. Hot damn.

How do you betray the fucking brand that’s in your fucking name. Robinhood didn’t bend over for elites and muscle the poor to let the elites change the fucking rules on us in a hot damn minute.

Holy shit!

Look this shit up my dude. I’m to busy ranting. It can’t be no other way around it. This is the dumbest fuck shit I’ve heard all year and bitch we still in January.

Hot damn! Hot damn! What a time to be alive.

Did you feel that?

I think the ride this year my friends is going to be the shit.

I can smell conflict and trouble. Ah shit. It tastes like fruity pebbles and and ice cold almond milk.

Holy shit! I’m getting excited ya’aw I knew this year was to quiet.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

High level bullshit: Politics from an American  Highlander’s prospective

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Politics in general is a bullshit game of those that do the fucking and those that get fucked from behind a table.

American politics for those not in the know is a bullshit game of illusion and deception. To the general public you have the deception of Democrats vs Republicans. The defenders of the poor and the evil big business assholes. There are clear binary lines. Between my team and your team.

Holy fucking shit!

Think about that shit. Has life ever been that fucking simple. Holy fucking shit.

Mother fucker it’s more like cocain pimp Democrats and their stable of loyal hoes vs the sucker they trying to hit up for capitalist transaction. Cocain Democrats keep their street agents in line and The stable of hoes make you believe you have a really big dick and they really hate their pimp and are trying to leave him and they really love you.

The rest are suckers or johns. Holy shit. There is more of a conflict/contrast between the crepts and the bloods fighting over a damn street corner my dude.

Contrasts

Grand Master pimp cocain Nacy Pelosia career politican. She has a masters in female bullshit and doctorate in the grifting game. Hey, no hate on my end. Look at her record my dude. She get her shit done and is a wealthy world class master of the political bullshit game my dude. Look her shit up that bitch will put Al Capone to shame.

Older then fucking Noah with power and money and still holding down a marriage for thirty plus years. Bitches need to take notes. A fucking old dirty OG.

Big T that dude is a fucking legend. He came into the bullshit game of politics simply by name alone and getting in when the Pimp cocain Democrats were counting their money and the stable of GOP hoes were taking a shit.

Big T revealed all that bullshit in the bullshit game of politics to the world and the suckers and Johns looked to the cocain pimps and stable of hoes GOP to find out if it was true.

Holy shit! Shorty said she loved me. She wouldn’t lie to me.

Get the fuck out here you damn simp.

You know the story. I’m a fucking highlander so I’ve seen it before. I’ll see it again. Still waiting for the punch line though. Everything is just to damn calm for me. I can taste conflict and fight in the air.

Hot damn! What a time to be alive.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

Abortion is a wild connondrum to ponder

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All joking aside about my highlander heritage. I grew up in a era when abortion was the thing. It wasn’t looked down on or put to shame.

The abortion of the modern times is a little confusing to me at times. I think and ponder it all. I’m like this shit don’t make sense to me. I’m just an old fucker after all.

Alright let me give you an example of my kind of abortion.

You have a bitch that’s a bite wild and to playful and maybe a little dangerous. She gets out of the yard and attacks a young girl on the street wounding her leg and biting her body.

The dog is taken out back to the barn by the father of the young girl and with a shut gun or a glock the father violently puts that bitch to sleep.

I know. I know your going to cry to me about animal cruelty but that’s just how we did things in my day. We didn’t cut off the young girl’s leg. We put that bitch to sleep.

Another example. A dude by the name of Ed, I knew back in the day owned a farm near me. He was a friendly man and had a lovely daughter that when she smiled you saw sunshine and you could hear the birds sing. We called her sun shine girl.

One afternoon when the father was away for a short time. A mother fucking savage came on to Ed’s farm and attacked and raped sun shine girl.

Ed came back as the mother-fucker was in the act of raping his daughter. Ed being a responsible man of law and order and an excellent shooter took out his 45. and put that bitch to sleep.

His daughter called the police while kind hearted Ed tried to save this bitch for trial for attempted murder.

Attempted murder?

Yeah. Back in my day. When we had the evidence and the shit was clear as a sunny day. We put bitches to sleep and went to church for Sunday morning service.

What about multipul cases of gang rape?

Holy shit. That would have been a long day of guns going off my friend.

Yep. I just don’t understand the times today. Abortion was more simpler in my day. Instead of putting bitches in jail we put bitches to sleep.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

A study in female bullshit lesson 2 Maybe your not a badass? It’s okay honey.

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Holy shit!

Holy mother fucking shit!

Now. Dudes in general will question a bro’s manhood openly and clown him until he cries or gets the hint that his friends want him to get some balls and come back with a retort in response that is indicative to the question. He most respond with a dominant put down to such foolishness.

“Fuck you bitch. I‘m a big dick highlander mother fucker. Come at me bro. I’ll put your bitch ass down and have your wife make me a sandwich after I get done fucking her. You weak ass bitch.”

The disagreement would be saddled by words or a threw down.

Now. A female hates simps [In my day we called them pussies.] They can not abide a dude with no balls. It don’t matter if you two are fucking or not. She hates cowardly simp bitch ass dudes. But she will not say this shit directly.

Facts.

Example: Fun with Dick and Jane (Jim Carry movie)

Dick has lost his job is about to lose his house and has decided to become a liquor store robber. His wife drives him to a store and they sit in the car while Dick’s bitch ass can’t decide whether to do this shit or not.

Jane turns to him tries to get him to give the shit up. He says he’s going to do it. She looks at him and says,

“Dick, this isn’t who you are. Some men can do this but maybe you have to face the fact your not a badass.”

Holy shit.

Holy mother fucking shit.

It was a moment in time when my male brain could translate that female bullshit speech. I realized where in the fuck have I heard this shit before.

Translation: Dick your a punk ass bitch. You don’t have a dick. Maybe you need to face it because I’m going to leave you for a big dick puerto rican Cassinova.

What the fuck do you think Dick did after hearing that female bullshit. He got his balls up and got that shit done. Guess who followed him into the shit. The fucking bitch that questioned his manhood. That bitch was cold but Dick’s manhood burned that bitch’s panties up my dude.

Holy shit.

Fuck that nice guy bullshit. Being a man ain’t about being nice my dude. A female can’t teach a boy to be a man but she damn well know a fucking man when she smells one.

That’s some real shit.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg