Category: fun

The Covid mask experiment might be coming to in end in Texas I give zero fucks

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Yep. The damage has been done and I got plans and shit to do still so I can’t say I give much of a zero of a fuck overall.

The normal everyday citizens didn’t learn shit about the massive amounts of brain washing and mind control that went on. It is what is it is. Big T isn’t in office so the powers that be that control the country have decided to end the shit show of covid mask theories.

For the most part….

Still me being me. I can’t help finding it all a little funny in a dark humor way. So much money spent and lost to go to a vaccine that is about as trust worthy as you can trust the government to handle a natural disaster or a winter storm.

Holy shit!

Again, Covid is serious but let’s call it what it is. A massive media push for control and dominance over our fucking minds and putting us in a continuous state of panic and fear over one of the Covids in a list of respiratory conditions that effected mostly the very old and the already very sick.

It’s just one big shit show. We’ll get through it but fuck if I want the assholes who put us through this shit to make it 2022.

Warm, Regards

Guardiandogg

Real talk. Stop simping. There is a 5’5 shorty out there that wants you to fuck her. You need to find this chicka

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Man I’m an old fuck. I don’t understand this simping shit. Women don’t want to be worshipped they want to be fucked by a dude with big dick energy.

Real talk. Okay so your bad at the dating shit. Practice my dude or dude try this. Notice the chicka that looks at you for long moments when you talk and smiles at you and tries her best not to be a bitch but she is encouraging and is comfortable being close. If you take her by the hand and lead her to a place to sit down. Fuck do I need to go on.

My advice. Don’t get in her way my dude. She’s trying to figure out if you have a nice bed or a steady table to put her on.

I’m dead ass…

Serious. My dude. You don’t have to try hard or dress in a suit. She wants you. You just need to pay fucking attention.

This chicka wants you to fuck her. She wants to bare your fucking kids. I’ve had this shit happened to me in public around my chosen preference 5’5 shorties.

I love me a shorty. The first shorty I smiled down at froze a moment and then blinked up at me and then blushed.  I had on a T-shirt and blue jeans and run over sneakers. Fuck I don’t think Obama was in office.

Real talk. Don’t worship. Find a chicka that wants you to fuck her and please don’t say some dumbass line to get in her way. Laughter excites them. Bullshit little dick simp energy puts them off.

Warm, Regards

Guardiandogg

Crafting an Antagonist but not a villian. (Writing craft) (comedy)

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I’ve been thinking about this for a few days. I’ve failed often times to craft a truely great antagonist in writing who you could understand and not outright get the feeling this fucker is insane.

But, it came to me as I was watching some bullshit video on some nameless bullshit site. The dude was an asshole that was trying to get with some sluppy looking bitch for some romantic bullshit reason because he fell in love with her mind but he was being a sneaky asshole about faking it with innocent old beta bitch is not trying to hit it act.

Holy shit!

I was bored and I was in a low energy level or some bullshit.

The video did give me a thought about the strange case of dr. jekyll and mr. hyde. I haven’t read the book yet but I know and you know the story.

Some asshole Mr. Nice guy scientist keeps drinking a magic potion that turns him into a asshole without the nice guy face.

I wanted to flip that shit a bit. What if the antagonist is a smart dude with simple motivations. Human shit. A 5’5 shorty and a shiny new 2021 mustang.

The story. Main character Cindy Shorty ain’t feeling antagonist Bill Bastard and the bitch thinks of him as her personal beta bitch simp. So does he hatch a plan to woe her with a new mustang and muscles?

Fuck no my dude. He crafts a plan to go after her hotter younger sister Betty Shorty, my dude. Hard. He gets the car on lease and goes after Betty like a stone cold player. Charming, funny and big dick energy and all.

Cindy doesn’t like the shit. Because she’s a jealous bitch. She tries to stop the shit because Bill says he’s not really into Betty but he’ll marry her and dump her if it don’t work out.

Cindy is openly furious at Bill but her panties are going up in flames for Bill my dude. She’s smelling some big dick energy.

Cindy goes nuts. She is slutting it up and going after Bill hard trying to get him to stop dating her sister. Bill is playing it cool and denying the bitch.

Cindy then goes super crazy and seduces Bill into bed and gets pregnant. She tells Betty about Bill seducing her and playing Betty for Cindy’s affection and all that bullshit. Betty buys it.

Cindy is pregnant so she uses this as a opportunity to force Bill to marry her. At the wedding day Cindy’s brother Jack gives Bill a check for five grand.

Cindy asks about the check. Bill looks at her and says. “I made him a bet that you would force me to marry you in under a year. I needed it to pay off the lease on my car.” He said.

Cindy acts all offened but she’s sniffing his scent my dude. Big dick energy is making this bitch looking for a back room and a table for Bill to put her on. She goes to Betty and talks to her about it. Betty smiles and doesn’t look surprised at all. She looks like she knew the whole damn time.

Now Cindy is the main character. Bill is the antagonist. Bill is an asshole but damn if you can’t respect his game.

Damn this was a long one…

Warm, Regards

Guardiandogg

The art of the mystery in fiction and otherwise (writing craft) A lesson from Sherlock Holmes

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I have weird periods now where I can go months without reading anything new but one series of books and stories.

Sherlock Holmes.

I’m not even that much a mystery buff but the style of stories and the way the mystery for each tale is laid out aways pulls back to reading SH adventures.

I just like the way the mystery is laid out. You the reader are presented the tale and put on the road to discovering what the answer to the mystery at a great pace nothing is given away until the last possible moment.

Side note: I hate mysteries or stories where you feel no give a damn about because the mystery is just filler for the charecter.

I find myself thinking about this a lot now that I’m writing my own set of mystery tales that are charecter driven.

You (the writer) create a charecter the fiction world presents him a problem and the world raises the takes for him making it personal for him to discover or uncover what the hell is going on. You (the reader) him (the character) are on a journey of discovery and adventure.

I find myself as the writer having a cloudy vision for what the hell is going to happen when the focus is on character. That’s a problem for me though I know the ending.

The beginning is a sun raise and the ending is a sun set but the shit that happens in the middle always frustrates me. You don’t know what will happen in the middle to connect it all. It is the challenge of mystery or writing fiction for me.

Hot damn! What a time to be alive.

I feel most lively in that creative process of the middle of the rocky road heading to the end.

Warm, Regards

Guardiandogg

A message to readers: Always remember if I’m bullshiting it’s only to make you smile

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Let me say this again.

If I’m bullshiting it’s only to make you smile or God willing laugh at my silly ass.

We go through a lot of bullshit to feed our family’s to better ourselves and gain more opportunities to get ahead of the coming shit storm.

I’m not trying to add to the shit you have to carry. I’m trying make the shit bearable to lift and maybe bench press for fun.

I got one thing I can do well in the weirdest times of my life. I can weave some light delight out of a streaming hill of bullshit.

I am a bard of sorrowful stories who vaps depression with taste of cutton candy blueberry cream delight.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

Midnight. Karaoke night. Two guys and one song about Wild Pussy…(comedy)

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I was at this restaurant late night with a girl 5’5 a shorty with a nice smile and a great backside and wearing a tiny red dress. I didn’t have to do much work this time. I got her and she had me with a smile of encouragement.

Anyway, it was karaoke night. Two dudes got up on the stage. One black rambo and a shit kicking cowboy. Both dateless and they both looked like shit.

I groaned. I was ready to get on with the shorty back to my place.

I heard a jumpy guitar rift and nice drum combination of some Jamaican cool tune of live band. What? I looked and saw they had two other fellas with them as back up.

The shorty smiled liking the tune to. There was a playfulness in her eyes and warmth about her that told me this bitch is in the mood.

The two dudes started moving to the music. They were feeling it but they looked like they were skipping on stage in no direction just in the moment to be playful and no fucks given.

The black rambo begins with a speed through rap I couldn’t give two damns to follow entirely. Something about a shorty with a nice booty and him getting lucky. Some ordinary shit. I was starting to get annoyed.

The black Rambo pauses and looks to his partner. Shit kicking cowboy looks at him and then at us and says.

“That was some…

WILD PUSSY!! Ohhh. Ohhh. Yeah!”

What the fuck?! That came out of nowhere.

They look out in to the audience like two hunters on safari. I laughed. Shorty was trying to be offended but my face made her guffaw loudly along with everyone else.

The shit kicker wasn’t done. He started singing but looked at his partner ignoring the audience.

“Where did she come? Where did meet her? Give me, the details. Does she have sister? Tell me more…bro.”

Damn. Cowboy was singing like a rock star trying to start a panty collection.

Black Rambo wasn’t to be out done though.

“Shorty was shopping with her sisters. I came right at her. I gave her my game. I took her away. Back to my place. I laid it on her. To two in morning. I got her number. But that was some….

WILD PUSSY!! Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah.”

They skipped off the stages as the music faded and we clapped for them.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

An Ode to the 80s the last true age of American style

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I was born in the 80s but grew up in the throwback of the 90s. The music of the 80s engained in my mind and films burned into lenses of my memories.

I prefer aviators for Saturdays and Prince songs on rainy days.

I feel out of time occasionally. My body stays 16 my mind takes quantum leaps through time. My past is puzzling mixture to me. My speech.

Fuck. My speech game is a mixed bag of current timeline slangs, 80s rifts and a consent stream of mother fucking rhetorical land mines.

When I say I am a American Highlander it’s the truth of my mindset and physical conditioning.

I find my mind drifting again even as I write this blog post to the young man sitting in his room staring up at his model solar system and hearing the conversations that are on repeat for the last twenty years outside his window. Two old men stuck in time while the young man longs to escape from the trailor park. He finds his mind has only one escape. The starfighter arcade game at the corner store.

Damn. I sound like an old fuck but still I feel 16. I wonder about this some times.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

Song of the day abuse by propaganda because it’s one of those days

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It comes up every once in a while. A song from my past and a memory of days when I didn’t feel the grind on my rough hands and scared body.

I hear the drum. The engine is ribbing up for the day. My hope is that it will be productive day.

Spice kicks in as the song gears up the hill and I feel the new sounds drifting into the rhythm.

Alright let’s get this shit going. Could be rain coming in the afternoon. There’s a chill to the air but my mind is set to the sound and beat.

Let’s go.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

A black rambos weakness. Self pity with a side of jack daniels

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Holy shit.

If there is one thing I can’t stand about my black Rambo skin folk is the self pity bullshit they endulge in while they have a 5’5 shorty on their lap feeding them love and home made sandwich.

Holy shit.

I see it occasionally. The old grip about white folks, marketing issues about race and shit kicking cowboys rocking they’re cowboy hats with pride and no fucks given about what happened in the past.

Black Rambos are at their best when they’re having fun and taking on life by the balls. At their worst they’re like a beta bitch crying in the street about the conflicts of life and things not being easy.

I’m an American Highlander. I vap dispair and conflict like cookies n’ cream ice juice and exhale cool summer night vibes.

I used to find it depressing to see black rambos behaving in such a way now…well my view point has changed.

If you saw a 6’8 big dick black rambo sitting in a BMW pissing and whinning crying over some fucking billion asshole not respecting them wouldn’t you laugh.

You damn well know I would.

Warm, Regards

Guardiandogg

A Black Rambos weakness. A 5’5 shorty in a short dress and cute smile part 1

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Now I was raised among the black Rambos and black power princess and such so I know what I know from seeing a black rambo fall under the spell of a 5’5 shorty of any tribe known to mankind.

The innocent ones don’t have a fucking clue what they’re doing when they walk by with a sway to their hips and turn their head in a black rambos direction and look at him with a smile.

The charm comes on and playful seduction begins when a minute a go the dude was bitching about his fucking rent or his wife getting on his ass about some bullshit.

Hey it is what it is.

A black Rambo would be all to willing to deal with a fair amount of female bullshit to endulge in a delightful girl as her.

Warm, Regards

Guardiandogg

A lesson in female bullshit lesson 4 can you please answer my mother fucking question and no I’m not saying your a fat bitch

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I have a problem. When I’m talking to someone which is very few times with few words I need to know one thing a head of time. Will you answer my mother fucking question?

It’s only one little request. Well it’s really a mother fucking demand. I just need to know when I finally do speak will you answer with female bullshit or passive aggressive bitch speech. I need to be prepared ahead of time or else my fucking blood pressure will climb or my give a damn switch will be turned off immediately.

Example.

Her opening attack. “Hey what do you think of my dress?”

My response. “It’s nice. You think it’s going to be cold today?”

Her response. “What the fuck does that mean? You think my dress is to short. You think I’m a slut? What fuck is wrong with you?”

Holy shit! It’s to early for this shit. I need some mother fucking coffee in me. Sweet Jesus give me strength.

My finger is on the I-give-a-damn switch. I take a breath. “Aw no. I was asking because I don’t want to wear a jacket today if it will get warmer.”

Her response. “Oh. Well. Yes. It will get warmer. So what are you thinking about doing for the weekend?”

I slam my fist down on the switch and check out of the conversation.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg