Tag: dark comedy

The Covid mask experiment might be coming to in end in Texas I give zero fucks

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Yep. The damage has been done and I got plans and shit to do still so I can’t say I give much of a zero of a fuck overall.

The normal everyday citizens didn’t learn shit about the massive amounts of brain washing and mind control that went on. It is what is it is. Big T isn’t in office so the powers that be that control the country have decided to end the shit show of covid mask theories.

For the most part….

Still me being me. I can’t help finding it all a little funny in a dark humor way. So much money spent and lost to go to a vaccine that is about as trust worthy as you can trust the government to handle a natural disaster or a winter storm.

Holy shit!

Again, Covid is serious but let’s call it what it is. A massive media push for control and dominance over our fucking minds and putting us in a continuous state of panic and fear over one of the Covids in a list of respiratory conditions that effected mostly the very old and the already very sick.

It’s just one big shit show. We’ll get through it but fuck if I want the assholes who put us through this shit to make it 2022.

Warm, Regards

Guardiandogg

A message to readers: Always remember if I’m bullshiting it’s only to make you smile

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Let me say this again.

If I’m bullshiting it’s only to make you smile or God willing laugh at my silly ass.

We go through a lot of bullshit to feed our family’s to better ourselves and gain more opportunities to get ahead of the coming shit storm.

I’m not trying to add to the shit you have to carry. I’m trying make the shit bearable to lift and maybe bench press for fun.

I got one thing I can do well in the weirdest times of my life. I can weave some light delight out of a streaming hill of bullshit.

I am a bard of sorrowful stories who vaps depression with taste of cutton candy blueberry cream delight.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

A black rambos weakness. Self pity with a side of jack daniels

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Holy shit.

If there is one thing I can’t stand about my black Rambo skin folk is the self pity bullshit they endulge in while they have a 5’5 shorty on their lap feeding them love and home made sandwich.

Holy shit.

I see it occasionally. The old grip about white folks, marketing issues about race and shit kicking cowboys rocking they’re cowboy hats with pride and no fucks given about what happened in the past.

Black Rambos are at their best when they’re having fun and taking on life by the balls. At their worst they’re like a beta bitch crying in the street about the conflicts of life and things not being easy.

I’m an American Highlander. I vap dispair and conflict like cookies n’ cream ice juice and exhale cool summer night vibes.

I used to find it depressing to see black rambos behaving in such a way now…well my view point has changed.

If you saw a 6’8 big dick black rambo sitting in a BMW pissing and whinning crying over some fucking billion asshole not respecting them wouldn’t you laugh.

You damn well know I would.

Warm, Regards

Guardiandogg

A lesson in female bullshit lesson 4 can you please answer my mother fucking question and no I’m not saying your a fat bitch

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I have a problem. When I’m talking to someone which is very few times with few words I need to know one thing a head of time. Will you answer my mother fucking question?

It’s only one little request. Well it’s really a mother fucking demand. I just need to know when I finally do speak will you answer with female bullshit or passive aggressive bitch speech. I need to be prepared ahead of time or else my fucking blood pressure will climb or my give a damn switch will be turned off immediately.

Example.

Her opening attack. “Hey what do you think of my dress?”

My response. “It’s nice. You think it’s going to be cold today?”

Her response. “What the fuck does that mean? You think my dress is to short. You think I’m a slut? What fuck is wrong with you?”

Holy shit! It’s to early for this shit. I need some mother fucking coffee in me. Sweet Jesus give me strength.

My finger is on the I-give-a-damn switch. I take a breath. “Aw no. I was asking because I don’t want to wear a jacket today if it will get warmer.”

Her response. “Oh. Well. Yes. It will get warmer. So what are you thinking about doing for the weekend?”

I slam my fist down on the switch and check out of the conversation.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

Passive aggressive bitch speech the enemy to a dialectic mind

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I was raised by females and I am introvert by nature so obviously I was a beta bitch for most of my youth.

I didn’t talk directly with people because I was a bitch so I learned the fine art of passive aggressive bitch speech or being passive in confronting a issue head on. This worked as a means of communication for me until…

I got some balls or on a matter of fact I needed to know something I didn’t want a secondary answer about some bullshit feelings I had about the topic.

This might sound confusing so let me give you an example.

“Honey does this dress make me look fat?”

Anyway, I can’t stand that shit anymore. My mind doesn’t work that way sense I got some balls and started vaping conflict on the regular.

I use rhetorical speech for jokes and poetry though I absolutely mean it when I say I hate gamma, gamma mother fucking bitches.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

It wasn’t about the snow, mother fucker. It wasn’t about the cold. The government shit the bed it’s time to get tough

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I’ve heard some bullshit online from dumbasses online and around joking about the shit storm in a texas. I got thoughts about it.

It was Tuesday night. I was freezing my asshole off and my toes hurt and all I could think was I understood that state of Texas didn’t have a back up plan.

I wasn’t angry about snow or the cold I was pissed to live in a time when the governor of Texas told me to wait out the storm in the cold because the grid wasn’t powerful enough to keep me warm.

I live in a state and town that is little more then a back water country at this time. The person my fellow dumbass calls President is a babbling old fool that looks like he’s one day away from dying in his fucking sleep and I don’t even know if he knows the fucking day of the week and people are disappointed they couldn’t impreach T-money after he left his job.

My problem isn’t the weather it is the state of a confederacy of dunces generation I’m apart of.

I’m not a black piller. I’m a realist. This pretending this shit government will last is bullshit. I would rather build a garden. I would rather gather rain water. I would figure how to make it without the government then place my faith in governmental forces that are against me. I would rather put my faith in my neighbors or a church that will give me a fucking warm bed to sleep to sleep on.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

I’m An American Highlander so it goes without question I am not a passive non violent modern pussy

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I remembered the moment I knew what the fuck my moral codes were when I was reading a book some twenty or thirty years ago and I thought yeah. I would kill that bitch if he tried to rape my wife.

I don’t remember the title it was to damn long ago.

Let me start from the beginning. I was reading a book from the library about a Christian community making it’s way through the west in the 1800s. They were way laid by outlaws. The women raped and the men killed. There was one soul survivor. A young woman  Claire. A native American man, Hank rescued her and married (claimed) her while helping her get home to her people. They go through some real shit together and he teaches her the realities of the evil of mankind and what’s worth fighting for.

They meet up again with another branch of the outlaws as they are about to murder Claire’s remaining kin and have captured her and forced her husband out. They give Hank the work and are about to kill him in front of her. Her male cousins and the rest of the group ain’t doing shit to help Hank or stop it. Their pussies and don’t believe in any kind of violence.

Claire ain’t having that shit and she being a righteous christian knows her duty. The outlaws ignore her and think she ain’t doing shit. She grabs a gun from an outlaw and shoots the fucker that was about to murder her husband in the head. A short fight takes place between her and the outlaw leader and she shots the outlaw leader’s knee out and holds the leader hostage with a shot gun to his head.

Everybody freezes. They know what’s up. Claire stares um down.

“Let my husband go you evil mother fuckers or your fucking leader is about to lose his fucking head.”

Holy shit. That was sexy ass shit. My dude. Give me a female that got your fucking back when you ain’t looking and will protect your children with a forty-five and a shot gun. That’s some sexy ass shit my dude.

Hank is busted and bleeding from his nose and eyes but he gets to his feet and snags a pistol from one of the outlaws and backs her up. Claire got that shit done and I paused in reading this story of fine art fiction. That shit shook me.

I thought. Yeah. I would do the same damn thing. I would kill any fucker that tried to rape/kill my female or kill my child in front of me without question. Any dude that would hesitate or think me weird for saying the shit. My answer for them would be…

Go fuck yourself.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

I’ve been watching clips of the Mullan Chinese drama show…why? I have no fucking idea

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I think in general it’s the YouTube algorithm shit. You know you search for one idea or one video and you click on one unrelated video and it hocks you and then YouTube says oh you like that how about all this shit to.

I get hocked. If your not sure about one thing about me I like asian almost anything. Yeah. I know the Chinese don’t care for the Blacks but I find asian culture and languages wonderful.

The S sound in Chinese is wonderful. I still don’t know how westerners can not automatically know Chinese as what it is when you hear that sound.

Anyway, I just saw one clip. A beautiful Chinese female talking with a group of assholes that tried to get her husband in trouble with the law. In a BC time period.

That didn’t hock me. They kept calling her a general. That didn’t hock me. The dumbasses confessed. That didn’t hock me. She got up and started to walk away. She turns back and kills one of them and be heads the other one. It was all legal and it was hot badass sexy shit my dude.

Holy shit. I got to watch more. Anyway I got to give you a clip.

The whole show is a bit goofy but it does have some interesting beheading scenes and romantic bullshit.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

Update to the shit storm in Texas power on…

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Power is on still cold as hell lessons learned are many.

1) get some shit kicking boots.

2) get some sleeping bags and get a shit hits the fan plan.

3) You never know when the government or some man made bullshit will try to fuck you over so don’t trust em beyond a gentleman’s agreement.

4) My feet were cold as rocks and I slept in near 0 degrees temperatures for two nights. I got through it with my best friend and fucking grit and the shit still might not be over. Holy shit.

Holy mother fucking shit.

No.

Hot damn! What a time to believe alive.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg