I’m in the mood to write. I’m fixing to begin writing the complete episodes 3 and 4 but that can wait. I have thoughts on becoming an old fuck.
In my head I never really considered what it would be like. I never imagined it would take me a bit to even look my age….hmm. Fuck I don’t even feel my age. I feel the same as I did when I was sixteen. Well maybe a little bit stronger in some respects.
I was a pussy back then and I know for damn sure the dude back then would have pissed his pants at the way I would talk to him.
“Chew on iron and I spit out bullets!”
It was saying I started at the tail end of me finally embracing conflict and rejecting running from my own failures and fears. I fought back by embracing the truth. Life is conflict and the sooner I started ridding with it the better I was able to fight against my own depression and eternal war.
I think that’s when the shine went out of my eyes but it was also the moment life became a wild ride.
Obession and addiction is the name of the game. There is no such thing is a casual successful GM chess player. It’s all a game of failing hundreds of times to succeeding in the overall goal.
To be the best.
To compete at the highest level.
To analyze how and why you lost.
To win.
You adjust and succeed.
It’s the nature of people who can be ordinary because they’re obsession is real.
Where does the money come in? It’s by product of the chase or Obession for the win for the understanding of how to see every possible outcome.
The chief thing you have to lose is the focus on losing. You will lose a game but you don’t want lose the Obession for looking for the win. Planning for win. Setting up yourself for win.
I’ve been a entrepreneur seriously for the last five years with various projects and gigs all encorporated in one ball of the one person business model. Mainly, I’m a creator that has produced intellectual property with a side in services.
What’s it like?
Your always working and you never really have a down time because the game is always on and there is no pause button and I’ve failed more times then I can count at the game of business but I’m hard headed and I can’t seem to quit. Especially not now I’m beginning to see signs of success. Small steps.
I was never good at video games growing up but I learned later in life to embrace failure. On certain types of games failure is apart of the game. You learn from every play-through and game over experience. You learn to analyze your mistakes and record and remember your success rate. Eventually you’ll beat the game because the more failures you rack up the more experiences you can learn from and not make again.
I slipped into the one person business model simply because I like creating stuff and my main talents lean toward communications, observations and analysis.
It’s been a difficult game to learn but I’ve come away with some lessons learned.
If it works keep doing and perfect it over time.
If it doesn’t work figure out if it’s worth the time and if you can perfect it but keep doing what works on the side.
Quality matters and critical advice good or bad is information to analyze.
This is the shit you got to deal with my dude. Yes it is true.
The funny thing about getting to be an old fuck is that the shit sneaks up on you at times. Granted I’ve enjoyed the benefits of taking care of myself well enough so I don’t notice this shit that much fucking hell the struggle is real.
Straight every day all damn day.
Fuck feel good food. Try food that doesn’t fuck your shit up at night.
Find out your blood type and what you have to eat to keep your shit good.
Water. Drink it.
Juice fast once year. To clear out all the fucked up shit in your body already.
On the real if your not yet old fuck Do this shit before you hit forty before forty back slaps your ass on the way over the hill
That was my first thoughts. I heard of this video by way and saw influences making money off this dude and psycho analyzing the fuck out of him. Calling him a “nice guy” or “lame” some other fuck you language.
Come the fuck on.
The facts speak louder then words. Nobody gives a fuck about a man’s feeling. So why in the fuck should a dude give a fuck about what some chick’s thoughts about what the fuck she feels about him.
I’m not sorry at all. I got goals, I got a tight work schedule and a bag to chase. I have to find reasons to entertain a conversation with a chick some times when I know she ain’t shit but damn shorty got a nice ass.
The only advice I have for this dude is stop giving a full fuck about chick’s in general. Stop the extra shit. Stop giving a fuck about a fantasy happily ever after bullshit. If she about real shit and fucks with you from the jump enough fucking said.
But even then don’t give a fuck. For some reason this is attractive to females.
The question he asked in the video was why does it have to be this hard to find a chick to be in a relationship? Aka “finding your best friend that you want to fuck on a table.” The answer is simple.
People ain’t shit. They will tell you they ain’t shit. People will show you they ain’t shit. So believe em.
There are individuals in this world that make attempts to be about the truth, ya heard. But, we all have some level of bullshit. A dude has got to ask himself when he meets a chick,
alright where’s the bullshit at? The normal chick will hide her bullshit but all you got to do is let them talk and they’ll show you. Just pay attention.
Always ask the question. Is this chick even worth fucking with in order to endure her bullshit.
Final thoughts.
I don’t believe in romantic bullshit. I believe friendships with benefits or a normal sexual relationship.
Any female that stands me up or says I’m not interested in me fucking her is a female that is a kind hearted woman trying to save me from mountain size scale of her bullshit.
No words really describe that feeling you get knowing your complaints are bullshit when your OG that been in the game long to show you, you ain’t shit. Your mouthing off about this ain’t fair, it’s impossible. OG’s just watching then he’s had enough of your shit and shows you what a fucking OG’s super power is experience, practice and fucking balls.
OG don’t say shit. His answer is to get that shit done like he’s done a hundred times before.
Alrighty…Long story short. I’m working on finishing Blue Technomancer and it’s going to take me more then a minute before I can get on to thinking about where I want the blog to go. I’m up to 24 episodes and I’m a long way from being done. The story spans several years and I’m testing my limits with new techniques. I’m having to fun of time to stop writing on it. When I finish it might be 50+ episodes.
And I have eyes on the raising gas and food prices. The kicker will come when people no longer are concerned about the big screen Oled TV but finding food or growing it at their apartment.
It is what it is…..The West (Clown World) is fucking with Russia because the reasons justify the people at the bottom suffering.. Everybody at the bottom are in for conflict. Right now it’s tight. It will get worse and people will have go through real survival in the west….again.
My thoughts….I am a man and a survivor so the times don’t move me like it did five years ago. Let alone during 2020.
I don’t say all this to be a beta bitch trying to scare you. I say….. Act with intelligence and be courageous because there is no other option.
There really isn’t no other option in my mind. All I have to do is look back at the play book of people that did it in the past and my own and take notes and take action.
That said I started out this year with with several goals. One of those goals is to make more money…..
I have already succeeded in that goal twice over. The challenge now is fast can I get to 12 grand a week? I’m not there yet but I know there is a cheat code I’m missing that will work for me.
The first movie was good for what it was but damn sure wasn’t as over the top a theme of masculine energy movie as it could have been.
Then again the edge (1997) was a fucking masterpiece. Nothing short of The Big Country (1958) can match it.
Why?
These were serious movies. That didn’t play around or attempt to deny what being a fucking man was about. BIG dick energy.
Pause.
Before the red pill philosophy came into being there was a notion of what a man is at his core. There still exists that notion. A man moves in a certain way. He can be loud and aggressively dominant in expressing his convictions or he can simply speak with a few words and be a man of action.
Both types are comfortable fighting for what matters to them. They embrace conflict on their terms.
The Big Country has a scene in it near the end when James (the main character) rides up into enemy territory to rescue a woman that is held hostage. She tries come out and tries to pretend she wants to be there because she doesn’t want James to get hurt or killed. She loves and respect James as a man.
James isn’t having it. He tells her he ain’t leaving without her. James is asked why does he care so much about the female . He was risking his life to rescue her putting his life on the line.
James doesn’t say anything. He just looks at the woman until she sees this man has laid claimed her. She is a woman has chosen to protect as his woman. Her reaction. Oh my God, he has chosen me.
She didn’t say flowery bullshit. He didn’t flowery bullshit. It was a fucking look. A look and vibe.
James goes to the gauntlet willing to battle the bitch that kidnapped his woman to the fucking death. James isn’t a white knight. James isn’t a beta bitch. It is the duty of a man to accept the consequences of your choices and embrace the conflict of life and the reality that fear and cowardice have no place in how a man moves. Men move with purpose and intentional in what they want to do.
The only way to know how strong you are is to keep testing your limits. – Jor El
The movie wasn’t Christopher Reed good but I think of that one scene and it just inspires me.
He comes out of the chamber of the space ship dressed in the symbol of hope. In his head are the words of his father with the challenge….
Test the limits of how strong you are and the limitations to that strength. He’s going to have a few missteps. He’s going to have a few falls. He’s going to have a second or a moment of doubt that he can break through to another level but the words of his father whisper in his head.
You are the son from the house of hope. He has to breath in the air. Clear his head. Take his stance and push off the ground and take flight to level up to 100.
Pause.
I’m not naturally talented in any regard as a writer or anything in my life. I knew 30 plus years ago it was going to be hard. I wanted to give up plenty of times. But, I kept on pushing and hoping for one day I would push myself to that level where my feet would leave the ground. My focus would set and I could push on and not worry about falling because I dreamed of a time I would start flying….
I’m pushing alot of writing out. I’m hoping to accomplish finishing a major book project and above all else. I’m taking taking flight to a major leveling up season. This the best time of my life.
If your afraid of testing your limits. If you don’t care about how strong you can be. I don’t know what to tell you.
I live with this shit. I feel like I’m hammering a giant on moving rock all day but hot damn! What a time to alive. I see cracks in surface. I live for this shit.
Every damn day of the week. I don’t have enough time. So God help me I have to write more.
Over the last two to three years I’ve heard about some great reset going on in world. In my head, I don’t get it because every month or week I get a mindset to start over. To reset my thinking accordingly. It’s something that just happens to my mind like a switch. Change is consent because I exist in the present. So I move in a way.
I feel it when I cut my hair, shave my beard and look in mirror and know. I’m starting over. I’m letting stuff go and not thinking about going back. I’m pushing forward. I may have days I get dragged down or lose focus but the Callender has been reset. I’m changing how I move because I’m tired of the results I had or I see a difference in one change I made can make to my overall goals for day, the week, the year and ten years to proceed.
Being intentional and realistic. I write on the subjects a lot but they go hand and hand for me. This is a consent in my mind as I blog and I look at the results of my current output of content and the through-put goal.
That’s why it’s hard to think of blogging some times as a hobby. Hobbies are activities you do to enjoy and add color to your life.
Blogging for me is setting goals, putting out content and thinking about whether or not I can meet my over all goal for day in progress to 2 million readers, a hundred percent entertaining and thoughtful. Every day counts, every post I put up has to be intentional to meet the goal.
I start at 0 every day. I have to get my numbers up everyday. What are the benefits of this mindset that blogging as in a way increased?
I bring the same mindset to my day job. I start at 0. I have to bring my numbers up to a sufficient number to meet my overall goals for the week, month and year. Every day counts and my performance and ability to be come more efficient at what I do as a means to increase my success is what I care about..
or
I have to level up to a position that will meet a level of challenge and pay grade to warrent my time spent. There is a certain coldness to it but really
Work isn’t about being happy for me. I have moments I am entertained by what I do to eat. But, really I don’t define myself by my day job or care whether I am happy doing what I do. Did I get the job done? Did I achieve my goal?
This is what defines a professional I believe. Do you have a intentionally mindset and overall goal your aiming at? Certification. Degrees. Tradesmen training. These are only the tools to the means of achieving the goal at sufficient amount of time with positive impact on meeting your personal professional mastery.
In plain speech…..fuck your feeling my dude. Are you getting the bag? Are you about your business or are you all talk and bullshit? No one wants to be appreciated for being shit at something.
This month I’m in the red and I’ve been the most productive I’ve ever been in my writing pursuits and hoping to push forward several projects all at once and I know…I’ll get it done.
This month was several failures and odd moments of success. What did I learn?
I learned that I can get a lot of projects going and finished if I plan a head for having less time and energy. Getting up early helps for me but going to bed early is good to. I wasn’t producing enough writing and content until this month.
I need to write and produce more content from now on if I want reach my overall goal for the next ten years.
Next month….
I’m testing out the kindle vella program. It’s interesting. In a way it will be like what I’m doing on the blog but more limiting and a learning curve. I like the challenge.
I’ll be rolling out two projects next month to see how they fare on the platform. One experimental, the other vanilla fiction. Though this may change depending on what the people like.
I’m figuring it out as I go. I don’t have a manual to success. I just know yesterday’s successes won’t work today..
So I have to try challenge myself. I can’t get comfortable. I have a growing urge to build something of value to others. I’m not there yet but I’m still interested so I’ll keep going and adjust to changes.
Again. Thank you for coming with me this far. If you haven’t had a good laugh or smile from the blog. Wait a bit. I’ll get you sooner or later with a banger.
