This is my most difficult skill to learn at present the ability to paint thr world in the mind of the reader. Characters matter to me and motivation of why people do things I find rich in art.
Here’s my attempt:
Smoke Wells felt the warmth of the sun on his face as he came to wakefulness on soft ground under his body. He dug his rough hand in the sand under him before fresh water cold rushed up splash over him.
Smoke opened his eyes lids slowly with painful effort and then looked up at the blue grey sky above. He groaned and worked to force his body to come to roll up to a sitting position on the sand.
He stared around him wondering at the palm trees and forest around him. He wondered where he was and how he got here.
He looked down at his torn trousers and wrapped up white shirt and wondered. He looked down at the long violent scars on his chest. He moved his mouth kicking his lips tasting dry blood and something else on his mouth and tongue.
“Welcome Smoke.”
Smoke looked around for the voice but he couldn’t find the owner. He knew some how though that the owner of the voice was watching him closely. Slowly he forced and worked himself to his bare feet. He ran a shakey hand through his dark wavy hair and pondered his next move before he saw a white light house on hip in the distance.
Cre greeted Max with a cold curt nod and little show at being surprised to see him again or pleased at the idea. Max for his part was pleased to see Cre still in control of his emotions and people. The Krull were surrounded by Dar Empire soldiers and flying ships.
Yet, Cre was cool as he stood facing Max under the canopy. Max sat at a make shift desk and waved him to a seat on the other side of the desk.
Cre of course didn’t want to sit by he wasn’t much in a position to resist without things getting unpleasant for his people. So he sat straight back and on guard.
Max smiled at him. “Your a long way from the parcel of land we last met and . Where you planning on visiting the Breakers?! Whatever for I wonder.” He said with a grin.
Cre stared at him. “You have put a barrior over the planet meant to keep my people here. Where in my people’s contract with your people was that expressly said that warrented such an action?” He said.
Max laughed slapping a hand down on the desk. He pointed his manicured hand toward Cre. “It wasn’t forbidden in the contract either. This is the world your people chose to make their home. Why would their be a need for you to leave your own homeworld. The Dar Empire has made no plans to Rob you of your home. Again. The Dar Empire wants a marriage an lasting friendship between both people. Your people likes the arrangement until your leader made a miss step. What is the reason you returned the money and left your property.” He said.
Cre stared at him. “It is my people’s business not yours. We are different people. We wish no aggression or trouble with you or your empire or federation of worlds. You push your ways and your will on us. We are a simple people and odd and uppity people as you said once. We see no need to trouble you with any explanations of our desires to be left to ourselves. Let us move past this game. What do you really want?” Cre said.
Max chuckled. “You speak basic trade language well. You also know how to think in a reasonable manner. The short of it is the Queen of the Dar wishes to see you and discuss plans on compensation on your loss of respect and a tribesmen. However, I remember clearly telling you that the reason your cousin had to be judged was because he broke faith with me. He also refused to cancel his up and coming marriage. Do you intend on waking up that old matter. I thought it was settled. There was no need for you to run off.” Max said.
Cre stared at Max. “You wish there to be no marriage between my tribe and that of the Breakers?” He said.
Max nodded. “There will be no marriage between The Krulls and Breakers. Am I understood?” He said.
Cre stared at Max. “We have a deal.” He said calmly.
Max flinched back in his seat. He grimanced at the coolness of Cre’s reply. “On your word.” He said.
Cre nodded. “Of course and on your word as the Diplomate of Dar of course. We have a deal.” He said.
Max shook his head smiling. “What am I agreeing to. Give me the terms.” He said.
“You agree to have your head removed from your shoulders or that there will be never be a marriage between my people and yours for all time. Which is it to be. Will you give me your head or will you agree to there being no marriage between my people and yours the choice is.” Cre said.
Max sat back. “You wish me dead that badly? Come now lad. The Queen of Dar is willing to pay you greatly for your services. I represent the Empire of Dar and her queen to demand my head is to threaten the queen. You must calm your nerves and think reasonably.” He said.
Cre shook his head. “I wish you to leave my people alone. You have demonstrated I should not trust you or your people not to endanger my people or our way of life. But, you stand in need of my people in service to yours. You also threaten my people. I demand a price for that service. What is it to be? What do you expect my people to work for free?! That is not the Dar Empire way of doing business or politics. Nothing is for free. I have named my price.” He said coolly.
Max clapped his hands. “Now we come to a reasonable stance. My counter offer. You will meet the Queen of Dar. You will agree to not marry the Breaker Princess. If you can convince the queen of your request to remove my head you will get your way. If not my head then wealth will be a second best option.” He said.
Cre sighed and leaned back in his seat. “Counter offer. Remove the barrior over this planet and there will be no marriage to between my people and the house of the Breakers and you can retain my people’s hunting services. Nothing more.” He said.
Max chuckled. “The barrior will remain in place until you meet the queen of the Dar. There is no need for you to leave your own homeworld no one is forcing you away. In fact a marriage between your people and the Dar royalty would resolve this imaginary conflict you believe is between our peoples.” He said.
“You taught me once that each side must sacrifice something for a bargin to be reached. There will be no marriage between my tribe and yours. Do you agree to this one point? To gain everything else. It is a small price to pay. Do not tell me that I can’t even get you to abide by your own philosophy.” Cre said.
Max sighed. “No. Listen. Money. Wealth. Honor. I can offer you-” He said but stopped when Cre shook his head and waved his hand.
“Nothing.” Cre said. “If you can not give on one thing then nothing you say means anything. We have no need of your gold. Your lands. Your meaningless words of high praise. You are a empty talking killer. What? Have I offended you?! Are you angry to be told to your face what you are?” Cre said.
Max stared at Cre in utter blank indifference to his insults. He shrugged his shoulders. “No not really. I’ve heard much worse lad and your still being respectful about it. You took to your lessons well on Dar philosophy and trade talk. Your right. All the same I am in the position of power. I say you can’t marry the Breaker Princess. You must marry into the Dar royal family. It would strengthen your survival.” He said.
Cre nodded. “The deal is simple. No marriage between my people and yours forever. This is not about emotion or revenege. This is about respect and abiding by your own philosophy. You could have come to my elders and told them Crowley’s crime. You could have allowed us to handle it. No. You decided to handle the matter with disrespect. Then you demand I respect you and your position?! You have no respect for nothing and no one. I have no regard for you and your worthless people. I value my people. You do not.” He said.
Max stared at him. “Meet the queen of Dar. Talk with her. If she agrees to bring down the barrior on the planet that will be your only shot out but the day you attempt to marry the Breaker princess…it will put your people in a difficult position. She’s waiting in the ship I came in behind you. This is not a threat. It’s politics. The Dar Empire value the skills your people have. You are a one of a kind people in the universe. The Breakers position would rise higher in challenge to the Dar. Crowley knew this and brought on this situation. Furthermore the Breakers breed primarily females. Your race would not thrive and your few as is.” He said.
Cre shook his head. “You are to strange to deal with. I will meet your queen maybe she is more toleratable. I want the barrior removed. Any deals my people have with yours will be minimum at best. You can not be trusted.” He said.
Max shrugged. “My motivations regarding you aline with your survival. That is the mandate my queen gave me. You’re still my best student to be educated on Dar philosophy and trade talk. First lesson I taught you was that it doesn’t matter to me what I feel or want. I have a job to do so I do it for the honor of my queen.” He said.
I was nervous as I sat with my back to my brother’s at the restaurant table. I wished it could have been more private but I had out voted. Things were moving fast. I had gotten the watch reports from the back-sight on the sudden changes in James Potter’s path and the alliances he had forged quickly.
I had to move quickly.
Angus and his son appeared together. I smiled at them but I froze as I saw the look James gave me a second he saw me and then he quickly tried to hide it.
James hated me. No. The heir of Merlin looked at me as a monster. It hit me. I had failed. I knew what I was capable of now. I knew what my limits would be.
I would push forward. I would overcome. I shook Angus hand and I turned to James. He nodded to me. I took in his measure and sensed the power hidden behind his youthful face. His eyes. Yes. Angus was right. His eyes told the story of a young who knew what pain and death were. He had been closely associated with them as I had myself.
He sat and we made minor chit chat that was only a formality. I saw him work magic easily using it without speaking. He pushed it out from his body. The end of the conversation came quickly when he told me to myself that he had no intention of being my bitch.
I laughed it off noticing how quiet Angus was during all this. I finally allowed him to take his leave and he disappeared leaving behind a grey mist on the chair.
I turned to Angus. “He believes me to be an enemy of his. I promise to surprise him and become his friend.” I said.
Angus stared at me. “What do you want to know?”
“Did he tell you?” I asked.
Angus shook his head. “His wife told me what happened from her end. Yeah. He brought his wife back with her memories too. They did some wild things eighteen months from now.” He said.
“Two years! Two years.” I said twice.
Angus nodded. “Yep. Someone attacked the sky realm my boy made and killed my family.” He said.
I nodded. “Me. Your saying I ordered the death of your family in this sky realm that James made. What is a sky realm?” I said.
“James used a bit of my magic along with several other forms to craft another place like earth above my ranch where they made inventions that advanced magic by the months.” He said with more then a little pride in his voice about his son.
I couldn’t conceive of any reason I would try to stop that. “He’ll have his opportunity to bring back this sky realm and do more now.” I said.
Angus shook his head. “No. James isn’t interested in returning to that. My daughter in-law says she is going to try to attempt to get him back on to his true passion but she is afraid it is gone after what happened.” He said.
I shook my head. “That is nonsense. I have to know what happened Angus. I have to bring him into our circle. He’s our future. If he gets turned to the dark Lord’s side.”
“Leave him be.” Angus said. “He’ll come along at his own pace and time. He’s earned some peace.”
“He went to visit a female named River Song. Do you know why?” I asked.
Angus sighed. He stared at me. “What are you doing, Nick?” He said.
I stared at him. “He has a black rage in him. Such anger and power in a young man like himself can damage my peoples future. He already has one tribe of Magi under his protection. This is only the beginning. There is still hope to guide him back around to right side.” I said carefully.
Angus nodded leaning forward toward me. “Your the cause of his pain and loss, Nick. Your the reason he is the way he is. It’s what you become. Hell the only reason he came here was because of me. He is opposed too everything you are and will be. He still some how respects me though I can’t know why when I failed him. I didn’t have the strength to protect his dreams from being burned away by you and our friends.” He said.
I stared at him and and then laughed. I couldn’t help it. My hand was steady as I ran it through my hair once then twice. I sighed. “I hear you. But, I have done nothing to him or you. I have to know everything that happened. He was sent back. There has to be a way-” He said.
“I want you to leave my son alone, Nick.” Angus said. “Leave him out of this fucking war you have with the shit head. I’ll give you the information you need. Will you do me this favor?” He said.
I stared at him. “I can’t promise you none interference. We have to train him. We have to give him all our knowledge and experience so that he can do push our people forward to the next level. It is my duty to pure my knowledge into him. Angus. Your son will rise above all of us because what he lead our children into a new era.” I said.
Angus stared at me. “I know you believe what your saying. I know your a good man but your mortal. Let him be. His mother and I will help him heal but you and the fellas can’t be apart of it. Your the reason he became this way.” He said.
I stared at him. “Alright. I won’t go near him. None of us will go near him. However. He’s a powerhouse Angus. Not like you were on his age. His destiny means more for my children’ future. Our world will see him for it he is. They will come after him to make him choose a side. I will insist he become apart of the court. That insistence will not be up for refusal.” I said.
Angus sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. He looked at me. “Why won’t you let this shit go?” He asked in frustration.
“Angus. I have to change the course of events before I betray you brother. There is one event that has not happened to him. I’m asking you as a brother one last time. Allow me to redeem myself in your eyes and change my course. Owls do not betray each other. It is our oath.” I said.
Axe came to stand between us. “We all feel this way Angus. James is to powerful. Either he will swayed to the dark Lord or be on our side. Either way I know my sons will follow him when he comes into his full power decades from now. I want him on our side. I’m not going to up for fighting against him and my sons.” He said.
Angus nodded his head. “Fine. The day they come to force that choice I’ll bring him to the court to be inducted into our ranks. Just remember what I told you before. You know where I stand.” He said and disappeared.
I leaned back in my chair. My head hurt. I looked at Axe. He stared at me. “That kid scary but he’s also the kind of man we need in the court. Your riding a line though. He’s the last Deathly hollow and the heir to Merlin.” He said.
I nodded my head. “I know but we need to know what happened in his time-line. This is our only chance.” I said.
I’m looking around at one dropping another free book drop. I’m have to do a quick read on it to see if it needs more work. I think low fantasy is my niche but in general I have found that the writing comes easy and feels great.
I’m enjoying the process. The editing is just as fun and entertaining as the writing flow.
Value. I find myself asking myself this question a lot lately. Mainly because of my quest to produce it at a greater supply in my life. I am poet and storyteller.
I find the greatest value in using my best elements to inspire and help people. I’m a hopeful guy. I’m also a fighter. Both are elements that I weave into my craft for the benifit of others to enjoy.
The Process of writing the James Potter series was a fun ride for my first parody. The writing wasn’t easy. This is my first parody series. A lot of lessons learned and work went just into the process of making as in the writing. Warning slight spoilers ahead.
Outline and note taking. I had to sit down and write down a plan. Charecter sheet. World building rules. Chapter word count. Moral focus. Themes. Several pages and lines of notes. I did this to save time but also to have a clear beginning middle and end for the first vol.
Research. I had read the entire series of Harry Potter books 1-7 and saw some the movies. So I had some knowledge of the world and feel of it. I still needed to refresh my memory on somethings. I used Harry Potter world wiki site as my guide and consulted an expert on the fictional world. Once I had the feel of the world down I broke it down again and added my own twist to it.
Parody. I wanted this to be a parody with the elements of comedy and other fictional devices included in the book. James Potter would not be Harry Potter. James would be archetype of three charecters. In fact the book would be like a mirror echo from a mirror universe. But, have a similar feel to the Harry Potter World.
Fictional genres. There are a dozen fictional genres I included in the series. The book is current era popular fiction online. All intentional. Eastern magical martial arts storytelling to isakai fiction and magical guns. A host of other themes as well.
How original is James Potter? I would say the book series is it’s own thing. It’s loosely related on Harry Potter book series. Harry Potter books 1-7 I would grade 12-17. I would grade the James Potter series 17 for Mature with guns & Roses and whole lot of action.
Audience. I made this shit for men and myself. I like action movies and 1911s.
Concept. The idea of the dark Lord getting blasted to hell with a magical 1911. Fucking awesome my dude.
Welcome to the ride. This episode is more a storytelling one with a little news about the barn burning going on in the markets. But, I can’t say I give much of a damn. I survived the COVID mask era psys-op. You think I give a fuck about the price of eggs going up or down. Get the fuck out of here.
I am back on the grind. I’m working on the first book of a new series in the back. I set myself a goal of 60k words and two and half years to get it done. I’m slow writing on this one. It’s going to something special and new. I enjoy the process of it. It’s a mix of Starship Troopers, Power Rangers and Thundercats.
It’s all whole a mixed bag of fun but I’m enjoying flushing out the concept. Not even sure if I will publish it but I am sure it’s going to be the pretty good.
This year alone I will be working on three writing projects. I plan to finish up Experiment Logan Jones soon enough. Though it has been a fun little story. I have an idea it’s around 50k words long but you can never tell with experiments like this one.
In other news NaNoWriMo has shit the bed. 1) It’s due to some political shit. 2) The company decided to focus on doing something else beyond the core mission.
My thoughts are I don’t give a shit. I always hated the name NaNoWriMo. I’ll be writing something special for the month of November’s Kiss. I like my name much better and it’s not locked into a word count or some other bullshit.
Anyway, I got plans and dreams and a whole lot of energy and imagination still in me. I’m going to chill a bit on the cyberpunk gold and dive back into my first love. Fantasy and movies that blow shit up.
Let’s dive deep into the mind of guardianDogg. Let us discuss the stories of our modern weird as fuck times. The dark comedy drama we are living in.. Plus I do little experimenting and reading from one of my stories that’s popping right now.
