Tag: bullshiting

Pedro Pascal?!

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Let me start from the position that I don’t give a fuck about this dude. He looks like any homeless person you would find on the street begging for change.

Do you see this fucking image above. I tried to generate a picture of Pedro Pascal and I get this shit. This fake ass dude looks way better looking (pause) then that begger looking old and busted dude. Look at this dude.

This fucking dude is a movie star?! Holy shit! The times have gone to the fucking doggs bro.

Here is my opinion of Pedro Pascal. He looks boring my dude. I look at his face and I listen to him *act* and I want take a nap. He looks so fucking tired of sucking dick. But, he’s so addicted to dick that he can’t stop now. How the fuck else is he going to get movie deal.

Now this is my opinion and it is the correct opinion of all time. I win awards for my opinions you know.

But, I just don’t get it. What the fuck happened to actors that looked good looking or at least not like some fucking dude waiting at a traffic stop for spare change and sob story to tell for twenty dollars.

The problem with Western entertainment/art

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It’s not that the west has run out of ideas. It’s the fact all the mother fuckers are producing the same old shit.

No.

Let me correct myself. The over Lords in charge of entertainment movies, comics and fantasy in general have lost the script.

What script is that? The script that tells them stop being pussies and take chances. It’s all the same fucking shit.

Look at this beta bitch in the picture above. This is the fucking art director for your next AAA video game and marvel movie. It’s his piss stained vision that is going to lead the vision your kids are going to see on the big screen.

Holy shit bro.

It’s pure fucking arrogance. These fucking losers sell out slump on a shit burger.

“It’s the message bro. You have to hear the message bro. You have to listen to me bro. Trump is a racist. The world has to know. They have to get woke up the ass.” Some weirdo asshole said.

Holy Fucking shit bro.

In other news please check out my amazing parody book series James Potter and Court of Owls.

Something nice to listen too.

GuardianDogg Monday Podcast Episode 10x

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In this week’s episode we dive deep down in the world of all things weird and kind ah fucked up. The DOGE crew is on a quest. The mission is to bring the Federal U S government kicking and screaming into the 21st century. In other news I am casting bets that the federal government will fold over. Like blue haired sea beast crying out after falling on her fat ass in the year of our lord 2029.

The Ride doesn’t end

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Trump is taking a freeze to USAID. The overlords in charge are shitting themselves at losing their cash cow business front. Librarals hate for T-Money is on the rise.

Here are my thoughts:

After 10 plus years of woke shit, covid 19 shit and emotional blackmail and people just fucking with ordinary Americans and gamers the fucking chickens have come home to roost. It’s time for some free range fresh fried chicken.

Some people are in fear right now of Trump, of the world coming to end and all that bullshit but there is a part of me that is like respectfully…how can I say this?

Fuck em.

I can’t even work myself to reply to the fuckers that road the propaganda cocain machine of the media dream machines. That told me believe to believe all scientists. To trust the science and your political leaders on your home team.

Fuck em.

We ain’t on the same team. I think back on the psysop wars of 2020-2023. Covid mask theories and Orange man bad, Biden is the savory of the world and free range racism. The fucking depression. The psychological battlefield for my mind. All added on to the big Mac of hate for the straight white man 1st and the straight black man 2nd not in tuned to the woke mind virus.

Fuck em.

I wore the mask. I gave the fuckers the benefit of the doubt once. Though I never took not one shot to my ass. I gave them a shot at my trust. They took a shit on my good will and stole my fucking money.

Fuck em.

Holy shit. The mother fucking defenders of ministry of truth want to cry and moan?! All I can think to say is please cry into my coffee cup so I drink that shit or turn that shit into some vap juice.

The fucking ride doesn’t end.

My thoughts on Elon Musk….

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To those that wrote an article on this man I don’t give two shits about. To those telling me I should give a damn what this mother fucker thinks let alone believes. To those that insist I spend one day or hour thinking about this dude.

To those that think this fucking dude is something to be admired, hated or worshipped. I mean this from the bottom of my heart with all due respect fuck you.

I don’t give a damn what you expect me to care about. I don’t give a damn about some mother fucker that if he didn’t have money he would be just another fucking pookie sitting on a corner with a 40 in his hand and a joint between his lips. Let the stable of hoes on the corner working for him give a damn about him. I don’t. Respectfully.

Not sorry. Not apologizing because I don’t give a damn. If you insist I should give two fucks. Well…fuck you and fuck him too.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

My issues with BATTLE ROYAL CALL OF DUTY MOBILE…

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It’s shit.

No. That’s not fair lets say it’s like a crap shoot for what type of shitty game play is it going to be today. I don’t know where the problems are going to be becoming from on any given moment.

The problems are either me, my opponents, and the graphics. Either way I have to endure half not seeing who the fuck is shooting me. This game though is ugly as shit in BR.

My problems with BATTLE ROYALE.

Problem Number 1. Me. I am shit at BR CALL OF DUTY MOBILE. I play rank matches only to get an exchange sticker for the last season in my hope of getting a damn legendary gun for free. The reason I am shit at BR is simple.

1. I can’t see enemy at a distance.

2. I am always too busy trying to just survive or avoid dying from someone shooting in the back (pause)

3. I can’t stand playing BR. The one time I like playing BR for a few seconds is when I’m flying a helicopter or riding a motorcycle and then some asshole starts shooting at me.

4. I wish I was playing No Man’s Sky.

I get that feeling every once in a while when I am playing BR. I wish to sweet Jesus I was playing No Man’s Sky. I know Call Of Duty Mobile got a update on HD appearance but fuck that shit. The game looks like shit. Playing BR reminds me that the game looks like shit. At least when I’m playing multi-player at least the game play keeps me awake.

Problem Number 2. My opponents.

I. They keep trying to get me to fight them and they enjoy shooting me from the back. (Pause)

2. Shooting people in BR is a dice roll of shit or hmm that was okay. It’s not as satisfying or a rush half the time as Search & Destroy or Hardpoint.

Problem Number 3. Graphics.

No other mode perfectly shows how shitty looking this game looks when playing it. Granted it looks slightly better with the HD up scale mode. Overall though HD is a rose on top of bullshit but in general BR is annoying to look at and hard on my old ass eyes to see at times.

If I didn’t have to play BR to get the sticker for the legendary free weapon would I play BR…..

Fucking hell. I have didn’t know CALL OF DUTY MOBILE HAD BR from the jump a few months ago.

Okay I don’t understand the Taylor Swift thing?

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When she was young because now she is a Middle of the road over the hill lady about to hit the wall.

Face first.

She was never nothing to look at. She was a skinny no ass having chick. No hips.. No tittes. Nothing.. Just a wall. I can count on no hand how many times I thought of this chick on a regular basis without someone reminding me she exists. The idea of desiring to….shit. My stomach is turning at the thought now. She was like a passing thought and when I kept seeing this chick on my social media a few months back and I remembered she existed and tried my damnest to forgot about her again.

Julia Roberts was a thing when I was a teenager at the time even then I thought of Julia Roberts as a nice lady to look at. The thought of fucking her is not stomach turning as Taylor Swift naked. Julia Roberts is a older woman now and she is still better looking then Taylor Swift.

Look at this.

This lady been hit the wall and I would possible hit it in a parallel universe where I actually liked that type of chick.

I know. I’m an old weird fuck. But holy shit. Taylor Swift. When that middle of the road looking chick hits the wall and starts getting Botox and ass in implants. Fucking hell. She for damn sure will be something to look at when the circus comes town.

I never get why this chick was a thing to somebody. Somewhere. In a parallel universe where Salma Hayek doesn’t exist.

Warm Regards

Guardiandogg

Audiobook review of the Feed the Bear by Owen Benjamin….it’s alright.

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Disclaimer: I’m not talking about the comedy special also named after the audiobook. I’m going to be reviewing the audiobook and structure of it as a audiobook instruction on comedy creation.

The audiobook quality is more in keeping with a podcast with a okay sounding microphone and pretty straight forward book about Benjamin’s thoughts on the structure and the engineering of comedy. Benjamin expresses his first experiences in the art in his early twenties to his thoughts on how the process of comedy and the formation of joke work. He began to start having to start figuring out the structure of comedy and how it worked. He gives examples of types of comedy he uses and examples of effect comedy from his own past comedy specials. In general all the information in the package of the audiobook can be found in his old podcast videos you can find online on Bitchute.com or other Video sharing sites or on his website called Unauthorized.tv

The book was a little disappointing as a writer in the structure of a book. It’s little more then a podcast masking itself as a audiobook. It’s a pet peeve and a minor one but it doesn’t sound like a audiobook or is structured as such. It doesn’t take away from the entertainment and information mixed into the product.

I’m writing this review simple because I couldn’t find a fucking review on it and that fucked with me for reasons I have no idea about. So fuck it.

I also had other reasons. I’m a bard of dark comedy and I’m always willing to learn from people who have mastered the art and performance. I got the audiobook to learn about his thought process and maybe glen from in depth meaning on comedy from a veteran in the art and science of comedy. Also to do a review on the book in case anyone was interested in how jokes are designed and what makes something funny both from a laughter sense and from a structurally sound sense.

Owen Benjamin is a legit funny comedian and a master in the art of observational comedy. I even laughed at some of the bits I heard in the audiobook though I have heard a lot of his comedy bits before.

I give the content of the audiobook a S class rank for Super top comedy.

I give the structure of the audiobook a M for The structure of the audiobook is a fucking podcast masked as a audiobook.

I recommend you sub to Unauthorized.tv for his podcasts or where ever you can find his content.

Warm Regards

P. S.

I am the artist formally known as GuardianDogg