A study in feminine grace…the walk

I like people in general and females are fantastic in one area of study. The walk.

Long ago, on one night shift I used to attend. I walked into work many thoughts on my mind many worries and concerns. A female crossed my path hurrying to get to work.

I noticed her fragrance of roses and body wash masking but failing to do so her delious natural body scent and my mind centered on her. She walked in front of me in shorts and long dark chocolate creame hairless legs and rhythm to her step. Her hips swayed a little. Her step was hypnotic as was the sway and curves of her backside and form.

Her hands were at her side and curved a bit like she was posing as a model. It was pleasant reflection of her feminine character. I knew this young female. But, tonight I admired her feminine ways. Confidence, style, grace, form. She had it all and my un invited devotion for several seconds.

It was a reminder to me to enjoy life in it’s moments and beauty when it is in it’s prime of life.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

Big Dick theories vol. 1 natural and gusto

It is a proven fact that puerto rican Cassinovas, Black Rambos and Lone Star shit kicking Cowboys have the biggest natural dicks in the world.

Facts.

However, is there another means for ordinary mortal men to obtain big dick protential?

Yes. I believe there is. Gusto.

Gusto is not magic or a myth as some small dick assholes would have you believe. Big dick gusto is a natural evolution of getting shit done and taking the world on by the balls.

I’m being very serious. Please stop laughing.

Gusto is all natural no need for expensive surgery and hocker’s spells.

It comes from a formula of 20% confidence, 30% dominance and 50% shit kicking attitude.

The research study is still on going so I will get back to you with further studies.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

An Ode to the Mac a true King (comedy)

Alright. I don’t hate anybody BUT one mother-fucking dude rides the mother-fucking line for me.

Jack mother-fucking Dorsey. We’ll get to my mother-fucking opinion about the shithole that is twitter later.

Jack mother-fucking Dorsey. This Mother-fucker is a straight up gangster bitch my dude.

Whatever your feelings about big-T I don’t give a damn you’ve probably already expressed yourself so let me express my mother-fucking self.

Fucking mother-fucking pussy grabbing legend. Your fucking grandchildren will be at your fucking knees asking you if he really grabbed a shorty’s pussy and the mother-fucking shit will still be funny.

Anyway, back to Jack mother-fucking  Dorsey. This Mother-fucker can shut down a President’s voice to the mother fucking people and keep the normies from ever finding out that your mother-fucking government is fucking your mother-fucking unborn child’s future nice and tender.

Add on to that mother-fucking shit. This mother-fucker got mother-fucking kiddo porn shit on the back end along with legitimate adult porn star profiles and ugly nudist on his mother-fucking shit pool site.

This is the mother-fucking shit pool Jack mother-fucking Dorsey swims in and your mother-fucking teenagers will probably never see.

Newsflash: YouTube and Twitter are two old fucks one breath away from one last shit. What teenager will be on these two shits in the next ten years. I could be mother-fucking wrong. Yet the shit smell from Twitter’s adult doper is smelling.

Still Jack mother-fucking Dorsey will get away with his mother-fucking shit. The one mother-fucking joy I get is Jack mother-fucking Dorsey will see his shit business model die one day when Cocain Pimp Democrats and the stable of GOP hoes will get tired of the shit one day and say fuck it and nuke his fucking business in a day.

Now…if your wondering who the mother-fucking Mac Daddy King of comedy is your to short for this ride. I ain’t explaining shit to you. All you old heads give me a mother-fucking like and get your glasses up for the OG king of Comedy. The wordsmith and harold of comic gold to this day undefeated.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

An Ode to Door Dash

I can craft a meal in the kitchen. I can cook chicken and wild rice that have the panties down in two seconds. But, why go through that bullshit my friend when DoorDash is a true friend indeed.

In the morning, I order some IHOP double decker pancakes from my bed. No pants required. No fucks given.

It arrives at my door my deliever has my shit and says a friendly”Good morning, Sir.” And “enjoy your meal.”

Hot damn!

I don’t get that much respect from half my bosses at work that give me the evil eye because my mask isn’t covering my whole fucking face. Motherfuckers trying to push me to the breaking point. They might find my foot breaking in their collective asses.

But,

I been there done that. I got the bullet wound and middle finger up to that bitch fate.

Pause!

Doordash. Morning, noon and night. My steady friend. My one true reliable source of comfort. Civil unrest is at my door. Crept keeper Joe is on the war path try to please the demons’ whispering in his head. Trouble is the phantom with two 45s. in the room.

Doordash. Oh sweet Doordash. If a warm meal wasn’t enough you also provide Krispy cream dounuts two dozen and more at my desired request.

Hot damn. Bitterness of life and sweetness of sugar induced delight. My god what a country. Hot damn! What a time to be alive.

Warm Regards,

Guardiandogg

We’re living in an age of illiteracy my friends. You know what that means? Mother-fucking books cheap. Still winning!

You know growing up in the 90s (yeah I’m an old fart) I wanted to a author. A bestseller. A scholar in the modern age. I had dreams of making my way in the world.

Fast foreward to today. Video streaming is king and podcasts are how people absorb information. Reading books for pleasure is a by gone era in the post information age.

I’m not excluded from the degeneration. I like the occasional podcast and I view a Youtube video on the regular. Though in all honesty YouTube is going into the shitter. I’ll save my reasoning for another time.

The brilliance of living in a post literacy age is the opportunity of books being on the cheap.

As crappy is Amazon for the writer in making money for the reader it is a gold mine of richness for the wondering book nerd on a need for a fix for Sherlock Holmes collections and new writer’s with interesting takes on classic fiction and bondage fantasies. The choices aren’t limited they are endless….

Yep.

Granted the gems are buried under a hill of elephant shit with fucked up ten thousand flavors of I dream of a big dick asshole with a heart of gold and wallet filled condoms.

ULTRA COMBO!!

What the hell was I talking about??

Oh! Yeah. Mother fucker, books are cheap. The normies are all watching seventeen commercials about dick pills and the crept keeper’s new world domination plans on one YouTube/TV channel with seven minutes of content.

The road is clear to build a giant library of books. Digital shit I consider pocket money physical books is cold hard gold bars.

I have my little stores and my thrift bookstores online.  So many bargins. So many choices. Supplies are limited demand isn’t high and the prize is just around my wallet range. I pickup my pre-orders occasionally and a graphic novel when I’m feeling dirty.

Hot damn! What a time to alive!

That’s it.

Yeah. I wanted to be a big time author and scholar. Didn’t turn out so well but fuck that noise. I damn sure can build a scholar’s library because in case you haven’t heard me yet….

MOTHER FUCKING BOOKS ARE CHEAP….

Warm Regards,

Guardian

I feel like I’m turning into a old timer. I’m in love with radio show dramas

Hello,

Lovers of the written words and scholars of various subjects.

I’ve got a confession to tell you. A small secret if you will that I just realized or I came to admit to myself yesterday. I don’t think it’s a problem it’s a thing I enjoy for God knows what reason.

I was in my room reading a book (playing video games) and I got bored. So I just stopped reading (playing video games) and got on my computer because I wanted to hear something funny. So I went to my download folder looked through it for a few seconds until I found a MP3 file of my favorite slap stick comedy fifth ave girl radio broadcast show.

Side note: I was in heaven. I remember seeing the movie on TCM a decade a go by accident one night and I was in love with the catchy language and dueling dialog scenes. Well I am a sucker for words.

Anyway, it got me in a good mood. Certain radio dramas tend to do that for me so I popped in a CD of a radio drama series I had just gotten from the library. The original remastered Star Wars trilogy radio drama.

I know what you’re thinking. “Another Stars Wars nerd.” You are only half right. I’m over Star Wars. What killed it for me? The scene with Luke Skywalker drinking blue milk right from utter of alien cow he just milked murdered the movies for me. However, I love radio dramas. I like the original star wars movies. So, I got it.

My God. Pure gold. Theater for the mind and delight for the innocent child I once was a long time a go in a much more sane world. I wish I had been introduced to this version. The writing, The acting the sounds. It’s good and yes I am seriously crazy about words.

L. M. Parker

I’m in love with words..

I’ve written 10k words on this blog and I’ve enjoyed writing posts on this blog more then any other blogs I’ve had in the past.

Writing is time consuming work. It’s particular work that takes time energy and effort but if you like it you can find yourself drawn into for hours in the practice and the study of those that do it well in the past. I’m currently stuck in the Sherlock Holmes world of stories.

I enjoy the words. The settings and words. Oh the words. The out dated words the words that grandfather words of the current evolution of my own off shoot English American language.

Oh and the Federalist papers. My God. It’s like a bank of words sawn together with liberating meaning.  I read the Federalist papers every once in a while like one would take in the study of fine art of classical style.

Hmm. Yeah. Just reading my own thoughts of the beautiful depth of Sherlock Holmes and The Federalist papers in script seems a bit crazy but what can I say I’m writer but I love reading the most of all. May be you can say the same.

L. M. Parker