I used to live my life on autopilot looking for chances for someone to give me a chance to get to be who I wanted to be. To get where I wanted to go. The day I started living was the day I started putting the responsibility on myself to actively play to win.
LIFE IS A GAME
I was late to this thought process in my life in the second stage but I wasn’t late to the concept of gaming. I’ve been a gamer all my life. The game of life has end goal and set timer for when your part in it will be over. I’ve never been afraid of dying or the afterlife.
That’s what I care about. I’ve always cared about.
“Un intentional life isn’t a life at all” – unknown.
I don’t know who said it. It’s the thought or idea of living without a sense of intention was the thought or feeling that I was afraid. Not living to be engaged in what I am doing while I’m awake.
I have to have a goal. We all have to have a direction for the course we’re on in life. It’s what makes life’s moments mean something. Purpose and intention.
I reflect on this from time to time. I remind myself with books, videos and art, philosophy to remind myself. I need… to
FOCUS ON THE WIN
I’m not trying to do a lot. I’m trying to focus on my attention on the win and reasons for why I do what I do. That’s the mindset I have. I WANT TO WIN AND I’M GOING TO WIN.
No matter what trials or difficulties I have in life. I am going to rise up to the top and win. I have coasted through my life in the past but one thing was always the same. Whether they be challenges or challengers to my own process nothing has ever stopped me from doing what I got a focus or determination to do and I encourage anyone around with the same message….
Don’t quit. PLAY TO WIN.
I leave you with this video below. It is a favorite moment in a great Chinese epic drama. One man against the forces of nature and a QUEEN BITCH OF THE EAST that want to see him fail and die against a challenge for his life.
The sexist slaves are the millionaire basketball artists who run up and down a court straining their bodies to the limit and accumulating a host of injuries for the entertainment of poor folks. Who in turn spend what little they have for the sense that it matters to their very being who wins or loses a single game.
This is not hate. This the reality. Basketball in general is one of the highest paying slave employeement systems in America and I’m not excluding the other sports. All sports in general serve serve as a business of performance art in motion.
Old school performance art example:
Go with me down the rabbit hole of my American clown world experience. It all starts in the American (goverment) public school system.
We are not taught to be individuals who buy and trade and own our own businesses. We are taught by the structure of said system itself to be 20th century factory workers. I’m not saying anything new.
What is the difference between picture below
and the picture that follows.
There is still a chain tying person to a system of control that predetermined that you work FOR money to get Stuff. To pay for stuff to buy more stuff to work for more money to leverage credit to buy more shit to pay for more shit to work for more money…etc. It’s a cycle. A endless cycle or wheel of bullshit.
So what’s the solution?
Learn a skill > become export in skill while working a sexy enslavement gig > market yourself as export over time > invest in yourself > become a business > make money > make money > make money > etc.
I worked hard to achieve steps to becoming a better writer. I didn’t start out with flavor or flow. I started with a goal and steps I took to achieving that goal were being a reader and writing habitual.
I fail a lot. But I don’t worry about failure being a stop gap to me achieving my goals. I look at failure as progress. You have to try. You have to make the attempt or you’ll get no where to achieving what you want to build.
I know when I’m not progressing because I’m not trying.
“Build a life. You don’t need a vacation from.” – Rob Hill Sr.
There are somethings in life you have to do. There are somethings that just have to get done when you don’t want to do them. But, is the sum total of life supposed to be this way?
Why would a dude. Do something he doesn’t want to do when he doesn’t want to do it? Well because there is a result that would follow afterward that is the result he wants.
Peace. Happiness. An end to bullshit situation. I’m thinking about this shit a lot lately because mainly I want to put myself in a situation eventually where I won’t have to think of a vacation.
I would be in a situation that was indicative of the kind of life I would enjoy with those same type of vacation vibes.
I’m still looking for that sweat spot of writing, work and the natural high of living.
All I have is the road ahead of me. The road behind is only an echo of a time that used to be the present.
I know a dirt nap is at the end of it so I know between now and then I better make the most of my life. In the very least I should play the game properly.
Yeah. Today I find myself introspective about choices that I make and the habits I want to create and old habits I want to take up again.
Old habit is creating more music and art. New habit is to slowly but surely become a weekly investor.
I don’t fear death. I never have.. I am afraid of wasting time doing things that have no meaning to me or add nothing positive to me or anyone else. There’s more then enough bullshit in life I see no point and have no desire to comsume more then my fair share or produce anything more to add to the shit hill.
Still. I find myself wasting time. A thing I hate the most. A thing I fear the most. So…I have but one way to go. I am at a point of no return. I have to push onward.
I’ll put some headphones on my head close my eyes to distractions and just keep walking listening to some self imposed affirmations….
I am an investor….in financial growth and a investor in my own art and self worth…..
Alrighty…Long story short. I’m working on finishing Blue Technomancer and it’s going to take me more then a minute before I can get on to thinking about where I want the blog to go. I’m up to 24 episodes and I’m a long way from being done. The story spans several years and I’m testing my limits with new techniques. I’m having to fun of time to stop writing on it. When I finish it might be 50+ episodes.
On to conflict….
The West is in an unofficial war with Russia that is set to have major changing with world economy and more importantly food.
And I have eyes on the raising gas and food prices. The kicker will come when people no longer are concerned about the big screen Oled TV but finding food or growing it at their apartment.
It is what it is…..The West (Clown World) is fucking with Russia because the reasons justify the people at the bottom suffering.. Everybody at the bottom are in for conflict. Right now it’s tight. It will get worse and people will have go through real survival in the west….again.
My thoughts….I am a man and a survivor so the times don’t move me like it did five years ago. Let alone during 2020.
I don’t say all this to be a beta bitch trying to scare you. I say….. Act with intelligence and be courageous because there is no other option.
There really isn’t no other option in my mind. All I have to do is look back at the play book of people that did it in the past and my own and take notes and take action.
That said I started out this year with with several goals. One of those goals is to make more money…..
I have already succeeded in that goal twice over. The challenge now is fast can I get to 12 grand a week? I’m not there yet but I know there is a cheat code I’m missing that will work for me.