Music and life currently….

It’s a on again and off again relationship. I don’t know. I feel music deeply. It can be like a instant energy booster for me a vast realization of the limits of how far I can go with something and still…and still be obsessed over it.

I have a audiophile memory in regards to music. I remember songs and tones to the minute and timing. Yet, I am at a consent struggle to remember names and planning for events….

Still. I love it. I adore it. I hate it for the lack of wishful thinking it gives me of what if….then I the reality that I can never grasp true grand mastery and yes and yes why can’t earn anything of monetary value from this shit.

Still it haunts me. It draws me back to it. My fingers play on the keys…..

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My ears listen in on Spotify app. I turn up the volume on record player…..

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I feel in those moments rest. Real rest. I find work in writing. I work in work that pays.

Still I find only one value in music. Sweet rest and sweet memories of days of peace and serenity.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on

Warm regards



Styxx Shade chronicles: Resident of door 15

So far Lord Skylark and Brandon had run through several applications for the  position of apprenticeship with Lord Skylark, my father had turned them all down.

Brandon tapped his finger on bulky nose as they stopped at door number 15. It was half open and Lord Skylark could peek inside to see a single 6’2 tall young man in a standard uniform brown of slacks, a clean white shirt sitting at a finally made table in sturdy head down over a book. One of several books scattered around the room.

Lord Skylark knocked on the door. The young man looked up with sharp silver blue eyes, a thin long nose and handsomely set expression on his face. He study Lord Skylark in mild interest.

“Please. Enter my Lord.” He said in a cultured speech and confidence that belayed his surroundings and dress.

My father liked the young man right away and found him interesting and a right fit. His mind had been made up on  him. “The name’s Lord Ethan Skylark. What’s your name lad?” He said walking in offering his hand to the young man.

Brandon was silent but Lord Skylark could tell by his friend straightening up and grinning that he approved of his interest in the young man as a apprentice. The young man rose to his feet standing two inches taller then my father and took his hand.

“Luke Carter. It is a pleasure to meet you, Sir. I’m looking forward to serving as your apprentice.”

Lord Skylark studied Mr. Carter closely. He smelled it on the young man. A scent of lavender and smoke.”Rabbits don’t jump. They spring don’t you think?”

Luke Carter blinked. “What?”

“Rabbits. They don’t jump. They spring around and move with a lightness to their feet.” Lord Skylark said.

Luke frowned. “Ah. I don’t follow you. Are you playing a game? Is this a test?” He said.

“I have money to give or a game of whits and challenge. Danger. Life at risk. A gamble. Do you want the money or the risk of your life for elders of mystery.”

“I want sponsorship. I’ll take my own risks.” Luke said quickly and squeezed my father’s hand.

Lord Skylark smiled. “I like you. I like you a lot. I’ll give you twenty-five pounds of gold a month. It’s an investment not a sponsorship. I want you to look after my boy when he comes on his own. I’ll tell him not to fuck with you for his entire career. What you say?”

Mr. Carter smiled. “It doesn’t work on you? But your willing to deal with me still. Why? I’m a nobody.” He said and let go of my father’s hand.

My father laughed. “You’ll do well lad. Trust me. I would rather not have you as an enemy against me or my boy. I have too many enemies now. I could always use a friend or two or someone to invest in. My word is my bond in business.” He said and withdrew a purse of gold and handed to Mr. Carter.

Mr. Carter nodded. “Thank you Sir. If you keep your word then I will honor my word.”

Lord Skylark nodded. “Indeed. Your word will be valuable in your business. Oh. Could you be a good chap and release my brother from your charms?”

Mr. Carter snapped his fingers and Brandon came awake smiling looking between them. “Are you two getting on well?”

My father smiled nodding. “Yep. I like Mr. Carter. I’ll be sponsoring him. No. No. He’s to smart for our profession big brother. He’s going to be a business man. I’ll see to that. Let’s get on. Show me to the next young Lad. I really want see who else is on the list. You have a lot of interesting people here?” He said turning Brandon around and leaving out the door.

Brandon frowned at Lord Skylark. “What’s all this about? The Lad is a smart one. Best Lad here.”

Lord Skylark shrugged. “I didn’t deny it. But, young Carter is not fit for the small time like us. He’s got high promise. I’m sponsoring him. You should be happy.”

Brandon grimanced but nodded. “Alright. Alright. We have one last person on the list. A Mr. John Smith. A young Shade.”

My father grimanced. “A black. Ugh. I didn’t know we we’re taking them into the spy order now.”

Brandon rolled his eyes. “Snark your fucking jokes. It’s not like you can judge. Your a half elf blood. Stop your bullshitting and take a look at this boy.”

Warm regards


The problems I have with Disney start back to the live action Beauty & the Beast. #DevilMouse

The animated Beauty & The Beast movie in the 90s was the shit I grew up with and enjoyed. It was one of My mother’s favorite movies. The music, the animation the fucked up story. I loved that shit.

Flash forward to the remake in 2017 era. I’m much more hip to the notion of Disney being full of shit now that we’ve entered the declining years of woke shit tush salad.

I don’t watch it. I watch the review for one main reason. The big headed alien staring as Bella is some bullshit. I don’t rock it and the fucking trailers gave me the stench of “we’re trying to say something political but we’re dumbasses so”


Why in the fuck when they bring back classic good movies they have to destory the good in it with a crappy new interpretation and some black guy in it married to a white wife? Oh wait I know why. It’s because Disney doesn’t want to miss a moment of fucking with black men in general by using them to tell their own shifty as fuck political bullshit evil wet dreams.

Yes. I do hate Disney. It is in my opinion a fucking fact it is an evil empire. This is part 1 of my rant.


Disney is shit.

I’m reading some shit about race swiping that fucks with me a little but the fucking music sections and seeing the big headed alien being Bella that shit….holy shit.

Fuck the race swiping. Having that Big headed chip on her now shoulders asshole as Bella that’s the shit that did it for me. Keep in mind this was back in my beta bitch days so I was doing the fuck that shit on the low.

Now I’ll just say it openly.

Warm regards


Four swords of Katie Holmes Chapter 18 Heart

I woke up several hours later, hungry and feeling a sense of my balance return though that consent cloud of darkness seemed to shade my thoughts in depression. I noticed my old pj’s on my body and the scent of lavender in my old room.


I started to get up and heard foot steps coming from the stairs up to my room. I tried to raise and fell back on my bed. Damn. I was still too tired and hungry. Xenia came into the room dressed in a white robe and smelling freeze from the shower.

She had a tray of a plate of beacon and eggs with a pancakes breakfast in her right hand a glass of juice in the other. She gave me a look. “Time for breakfast. Good morning.”

“You can’t stay.” I said.

Xenia ignored my comment as she came to sit on the bed next to me. She pasted the tray to me. I took it picked up thr knife and fork. I started in on the breakfast.

Xenia sat quietly staring at me while I ate in silence until I was done and then finished it off with the tall drink. The taste and freshness of the drink cleared my dark mood instantly making me realize it was again that special drink.

I downed the drink in one go and then set the tray and drink aside on the bed to face off against Xenia. Her robe was half open a bit revealing her naked breasts. I fixed back to cover her so that I wouldn’t get distracted.

“What’s your plan here?” I asked.

Xenia shook her head. “No plan. No games. I’m taking care of you. Don’t over think it. Your brothers are all out and about handling something. Zadok’s down stairs with several other tribesmen until they get back.”

I frowned. “Get back from where? Doing what? The Deltas are supposed to be doing the work now.”

“They didn’t bother to explain it to me. They just said they’re hunting for someone.”

Warm regards


whispering Spring night return….

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I got off of work late into the night. I walked outside to be greeted by the spring whispering wind night.

Photo by Wei Zen Yang on

So long.

So long it has been.

The feel of nice blowing wind on my skin. A heated fresh fragrance in the air. It feels so nice. My birthday season is upon me. The trees are starting to bloom and for the moment my cares for troubling political and social winds are beating at my back.

It’s springs gentle night wind kiss tonight. This is the best time to just take a breath and breathe.

Warm regards


Declining as a writer and the need to push yourself while you have energy and focus….

Inspiration of this post.

George R. R. Martin.

I think of the successes he’s had of the past and scale of his body of work and rate of productivity and then I see the wall.

He can’t finish out the last book in his magnum opus. He can’t or is unable to sceal his legazy as a writer. What’s the problem? What’s the situation going on?

It boils down to time and a moment when age has caught with you.

How can age and time catch up with a writer? Isn’t the art and the craft totally depended on the mind and imagination?

No. The mind is a physically aspect. It is apart of the body and both have time limits for how effective and spark they can be on any given day or the acceleration of age, time and interest.

A professional boxer has a window of time he can be active and sharp on the game before time and age slow them down.

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I think about this aspect every day. I have a time limit myself on my own scope and body of work I wish to get half way down by my late forties. I’m in good physical shape and I’m always conscious of my weight and striving to work on my focus and staying active on achieving my goals.

I have so many stories, poetry collections and blog posts I wish to write and audiobooks I want to produce. I don’t care about legazy so much as getting the work done so when I forget it all one day. I have something to give and share that hopefully might inspire someone else to create their own realms of stories and continue the story by hopefully bothering from me and others to make great stories.

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Warm regards


Four swords of Katie Holmes Chapter 17 Diamond

I reclined in bed next to my girl while she delt out the cards in bed between us. Twila’s breasts where un covered as she smoked her thin cigar and frowned in concentration.

“There. Let’s play.” Twilla said smoothly picking up her five cards.

I took up my four cards and studied my hand. I wasn’t surprised by the arrangement. It was what I could expect from Twilla when we played the game.

A modified Ace of clubs with the sword and cross symbol on the card, King of Hearts, 10 of Diamonds and a wild joker. It was a image of family.” I said and put down the 10 of diamonds.

Twilla put down a card. It was a Jack of Diamonds. “Hmm. Interesting. He’s your match up. The one coming for you to take your crown to your sword.”

“He hasn’t come at me yet. Why?”

Twilla shrugged. “Don’t know. I don’t see the future just patterns. Next card.”

I put down the Ace of Spades. “Whose coming for him?”

Twilla put down a Ace of Diamonds. “He’s looking to trade up. He had a lot distractions for his rival.” Shee said softly. “He’s calling you in a bit.”

I put down the King of Hearts. “The man after Heart already attacked him twice. The day Momma died and making his woman leave. What diamond is he?”

Twilla smiled. “You get the pattern.” She said and put down the King of Diamonds.

“Shit.” I said. “Their all from the same family. Wait.” I said and put down the Joker. “Whoses left?”

Twilla put down the second Joker on the bed. She leaned back shuffling the rest of the cards in her hand. “Hmm. I have no idea what the fuck this person is. Becareful. I think this person is insane.”

Damn. I looked at her as she played with the cards. “The Deltas. What can you tell me about them?”

Twilla frowned and then put four cards down before setting the cards down. She laid a card below two cards and set two cards to the side.

I pointed at the two cards. “Who are these?”

Twilla smiled. “Vince and his lady.” She said.

I turned them over. It was A king and Queen of Spades. “I didn’t know Vince was married.”

Twilla giggled. “Neither does he, yet. No. I’m not seeing the future. He’s betrothed.”

I snorted and turned over the other cards and froze. The regular Ace of Spades and the King of Spades. Hmm. “So Vince isn’t the strongest of the family? It’s his brother Pete?”

Twilla shrugged. “Try not to think of it in terms of strongest. What is different about their cards and yours. What do you notice?” She asked.

I noticed it quickly. “The Deltas are of the same suit. They’re high rated and their united. What does that say about my brothers and I? There’s nothing the same about me and my brothers. How the fuck are we going to win?

Twilla stared at me. She turned over my cards. The sword and cross symbol was on the back of them. I frowned. I took the other cards they were all ordinary red back designs.

I whistled. “Shit. It’s scary how you do that girl. You coming back to my place.”

Twilla grinned. “You mean your room at your Momma’s house.”

I shrugged. “Yeah. So your staying with me?”

“I’m staying with you. Answer your phone.”

I frowned and then it rang on the nightstand to my right. I rolled my eyes at her as I picked it up.

Warm regards


Four swords of Katie Holmes Chapter 16 Ace

I watched Xenia dress Heart in his old Pj’s. There was a moment. “Why did you leave like that?” I asked her pointedly.

Xenia stiffened at the tone of my voice. She stared at Heart’s face as she pet his face. “I lost my mind. I couldn’t think straight. I don’t know. Tracy said something that reminded me that I was supposed to take Momma out that day. I felt like shit and-“

“Who the fuck is Tracy?” I asked.

Xenia frowned. “Joe’s newest girl. He was with her when Zadok called the house about Heart and….and about what happened.”

I frowned and glanced at Stacy at the open door way. She frowned reading my thoughts. I nodded to Xenia. Stacy nodded coming in the room and giving me a kiss before she sat with Xenia.

Xenia looked at Stacy and then her ring hand and turned her gaze to Heart. I left the room to hunt up for Joe. I had words to have with him and I needed to know who and where I could find this Tracy. I had a hunch.

I spotted Joe talking with a cute shorty dressed in a black dress standing outside. Rita was standing behind him angled away from the girl. I studied the girl. She seemed normal enough but something about her put me off. I got out my phone and snapped two photos of her and put my phone away. I walked out.

The girl spotted me. Giving me a look before fixing her face into a cute innocent smile. She had purple lipstick and matching contact lenses. Hmm. Yeah. I would have to move quick and isolate her.

I looked at Joe. He was studying me. I smiled to put him at ease. “So whose your friend, fam. Introduce me.” I said adding charm and light hearted ease into my tone.

Joe blinked. “Oh. This my friend, Tracy Angles. Tracy this is my bro Ace Holmes.”

“Oh I’m your friend now? Who is this girl then-:

“-my tribe. Don’t start the bullshit Tra. I told you already. Relax.”

“Relax?! I ain’t believing your bullshit. Your fucking this girl. I ain’t-“

“You need to leave. Now.” I said feeling tension and rage at the sound of her voice and energy. Yeah. I would have to deal with her tonight.

She turned to me hitting me with something a combination of exotic and rage. My symbol burned against my chest. I was able to keep my cool and think. Even though I had a massive hard on in my pants.

I grabbed her shoulders turned her around and gave her slap on the ass to give her a running start out of my presense. I waited until she was out of sight before I turned to Joe. He was more surprised then anger at me handle the girl. Good.

“I don’t like her and I want to deal with her type around the family right with Heart sick and the court case coming up. Dump her. You get me?”

Joe nodded. “Yeah. I was getting tired of her lately. I’ll keep her away from the family.” He said and turned to the house taking Rita’s hand and leading the way inside.

I followed him inside sending the photos to Zadok and Vince Detla.

-on it. – Vince

– I got you. – Zadok

I would update Diamond in a few when I got more information.

Warm regards


Let’s brain storm…why would NWO U.S. support the dictator of Ukraine?

First off. Fuck the good guys and bad guys bullshit on hellmouth news and being spoken by pimp cocain democrats and GOP hoes. It’s all bullshit.

I don’t respect or listen to professional liars trying to mind fuck me into believing lies as reality. I don’t trust them to even tell me the fucking time of day without knowing their trying to fuck me in some way.

Possible reasons for U.S. leaders supporting the current dictatorship in Ukraine.

  1. NWO (U.S. leaders) have this bitch in their back pocket and control the country and the people. They decide what that country will be.
  2. NWO wish to fuck with Russia in some way and have a pocket of power near the border of Russia.
  3. Ukraine must not fall because it would be a threat to the complete dominance of the NWO hypnotic spell it has over the world and it’s gang of countries.
  4. The NWO need the war in Russia to continue on. Keep in mind the NWO is trying to avoid being the bad guy in starting a open war with Russia and throwing the fucking world into WW3. But, this is the age of dumbasses. So for some reason they believe another world war would be sexy.

In conclusion….

If your reading this in 2077


They used the Ukrainian situation as a means to quietly stop talking about covid and get rid of the mandates when nobody gave a damn because war is sexy. This is the age of dumbasses….

Warm regards