The Outcast’s son

“Your father is an outcast. So he is so are you.” My oldest cousin Frederick said calmly.

He was the first to speak after I entered living room of my Uncle James’ house. Two of my Uncles and three cousins were present. All engaged in games of chess or smoking cigars.

I faced Fedrick. “Interesting that is the reason I am here. Would you care to share more. You seem like you have a lot to get off your chest about Rafael.” I said in French.

Fredrick snorted and sent a glare over to Calvin. “Who is this guy a lover of yours? It appears you and-“

“Watch yourself.” I warned him calmly. “That’s my friend and family your talking about. Say what you want about me. Once again I didn’t come insulting your brothers. So let’s start again. Hello, my name is Beau Hanny.” I said.

Fedrick stared at me and then seemed to relax and smiled like nothing had happened. “Hello, Mr. Hanny. I am Fedrick Martin. You look very much like your mother’s father. I expect he was the one that raised you into the man you are.” He said and held out his hand.

I walked over and shook his hand giving him a firm shake and squeeze before letting go. Fedrick nodded. “So. What do you want to know about your father?”

I looked around the room seeing most the elders all ignoring me or staring at my face with a grimance. I smiled and they looked away. I turned back to Fedrick. “Can we talk outside?”

Fedrick nodded. “Sure. Sure. Don’t mind the elders they’re all still a bit sore at Rafael.” He said and led the way back outside. The moment we were outside I turned to look at Fedrick.

“What was with that whole act? I just came here to talk. You said it was okay to come over.” I said.

Fedrick nodded and sighed. “Like I said, the elders are still a bit sore at Rafael. They wanted me to test you first. Let’s say you passed. I’m to tell you anything you need to know about Rafael but the family reserve the right to tell you any family secrets. Your viewed as your father an outcast. So what you want to know?”

I had a great many things I wished to know. But, I was short on time and I knew now I would only get so much information. “Three questions. Why did Rafael leave Paris? Was he thrown out the family because of my mother and what was his father like?”

Fedrick whistled. “Damn. That is a lot to answer but I can see you’ve been thinking on this. Rafael always wanted to move to America and make it as a singer.. He has always had a gift for entertaining people and a pretty face. Rafael was thrown out of the family for getting a girl pregnant and refusing to marry her.”

“So I have a half sibling somewhere?” I asked.

Fedrick shook his head. “No. The girl killed herself. She was my mother’s sister so it caused many troubles for my father and my mother’s families. Just now those rifts are beginning to heal that is why you can never be welcomed into the fold and your an American.”

I glanced at Calvin to see him smiling. “Are you just about done? I can’t understand damn a word between you two.”

“One more minute.” I said to him and then turned to Fedrick. “What happened about his father? My Nanny says he was someone she met and married in her youth but he died suddenly. Is that the truth?”

“Does it matter? It won’t help you explain who you are or what made Rafael the way he is. He was always a passionate handsome jack ass.” Fedrick said.

“The truth always matters even when it’s unpleasant.” I said smoothly.

“Are you a religious man?” He asked suddenly.

“Yes and no. Yes I believe in objective morality. No. I am not affiliated with a religious set. Will you answer my question?”

“Rafael’s father was a business man that owned a popular Café in the city and farm land in the south. He married your grandmother for business reasons and he was a closeted homosexual for all of his adult life until he died found in bed with his eighteen year old lover in his apartment in the city. The family hushed it up with money and bribes but people around here still know. Your father is his double. They both were singers and had a charm about them for seducing men and women a like. Rafael’s sexual habits also made your mother flee from him to protect you. He didn’t mean to leave you. His marriage just failed.”

“How the hell do you know that?” I said staring at him. This way more he could possibly know.

“Rafael told me. He did try to change but he couldn’t. He loved your mother. It just wasn’t enough to change his nature. He’s not an evil man. He’s just a man that couldn’t control his appetites.”

“What is he saying to you?” Calvin asked.

I looked at him. “He’s telling me my grandfather was on the down low and married my grandmother for money and children. Added on to that Rafael’s crazy sex habits made my mother run from him.” I told him.

Calvin nodded. “Alright. Can we go home now?”

I stared at him. “Nothing shakes you, huh? Doesn’t shake your Christian-“

“-you knew finding out wouldn’t be pleasant.” Calvin cut me off. “Stop pretending like you didn’t already thought about hearing some like this.. It’s got nothing to do with you. Rafael is Rafael. He told you nobody made him the way he is and you finding about his Dad being on the down low ain’t got nothing to do with how you live your life. I came here to support you brother. Take the love of a sweet grandmother, your too serious mother and that old general grandfather of yours and let it be. I’m not letting you beat yourself up over something that has nothing to do with you.. Let’s go home.”

I sighed and nodded. I turned to Fedrick rubbed a hand down my face and held out my hand to him. “Thanks for telling me what I wanted to know. I won’t trouble your family again.”

Fedrick held onto my hand and stared at me. “I don’t know you but I’m old enough to be your father and give you some advice. Live your life. Get a family of your own and be happy.” He said and held my stare.

I had no intention getting married or having kids but I got what he was saying and the compassion in it. I nodded. “I’ll do my best.” I said instead it was enough.

Fedrick let go of my hand. “Please be happy. You appear to have been raised well up and have a decent loyal friend to travel with you on such a journey in search of answers that are unpleasant to hear. I wish you well cousin and a better life.”

Warm regards

Guardiandogg