This was a few years ago when the first goble tournament was hosted in Texas, Fort Worth. Tai and I had become a Digimon champion offical Referees.
ArguMon and I headed to Jena’s house for a party to celebrate her divorce with Earl. Why?
The bitch said she would challenge me to a fucking Digimon battle if I didn’t show up. I had this vague idea that she wanted to hit me up for the D on the low but luckily my brain was still working. There was bullshit a foot. I just didn’t know what.
I showed up at the front door of her house to see Tai opening the door. He was dressed in a black suit and he had a shit eating grin on his face. I turned to leave but Tai grabbed my arm and dragged me inside. ArguMon followed me inside silently while eating out of a box of Captain Crunch cereal.
“What’s this bullshit divorce about?” I asked.
“ALL STARS! Digimon battle champions.” He said in an announcer voice.
“BullShit. The opening tournament is tonight at the stadium tonight and that bitch is banned from entering. So what the fuck is going on?”
Tai snorted. “It’s happening bro. AngieMon are in the backyard and Earl just got here.”
“Shit.” I said as I walked into the living room to see Earl crying on his knees begging Jena to take him back. Jena was drinking wine smiling. While their two children, Mark and Kelli, played video games on the big screen ignoring the bullshit.
My device went off in my pocket. Earl stopped pretending to cry and got to his feet. Jena frowned at him and then glared at him as his device appeared in his hand.
“AngeMon digi-evolve to GuardianAngeMon. I challenge you to an All Star Battle. Do you yield to your better bitch?”
I heard a loud BOOM! It was the change. explosion happened in the back. It was the sound of the evolution stage transformation.
Jena’s crazy ass laughed like a bitch in heat as she brought out her device. “Yield?! To you?! Mother fuck-ahh. I’m going to fuck your ass up hard. AngieMon digi-evolve to Pharoah AngieMon. Challenge accepted get ready to kiss my ass.”
Their kids ignored their parents as they played on the television until the screen changed and we saw the two Digimon facing off in the backyard.
One was 6 feet tall armored Angel man with gold wings and twin golden swords. The other a floating AngieMon that looked like sitting Pharaoh/lioness.
“I got two sneaker bars on Daddy.” Said Kelli .
“I got three butterfingers they’ll cancel each other out again before Daddy takes Momma upstairs.” Mark said.
“You fucking asshole. You got a bet.” Kelli said.
Tai got out his Device as it went off with the song.
“Referee Tai Badass Wade calling for a battle. Ya’aw better make it a good one.”
I got my device and it as it started flashing green.
*DIGIMON. DIGITAL MONSTERS. DIGIMON BATTLE CHAPIONS.*
“Digimon ALL STAR battle ready. Guardiandogg confirms battle. Tai! Do it!”
Tai frowned but then a slow grin appeared on his face. “Dee Dee-digimon digi-battle. Dee. Dee. Digimon battle. Digimon battle.”
To be continued……on the next episode of Digimon digital monsters.
I might be a little crazy.