Great grandfather and his great grandson have a discussion at the family estate library.
Great Papo gave me the side eye stare when I told him about my friend Sue.
“What the fuck you saying youngster? Men and women ain’t friends. Men and women fuck the end.”
“Great Papo. I been friends with Sue sense we were five.”
“Holy shit. That shit. You fucking her yet?”
“Damn man. We ain’t fucking and I ain’t gay before you start.” I said.
Great Papo rolls his eyes. “Show me some pictures of you and this girl.”
I frowned but took out my phone. I brought out my phone and showed him my photo album from last year.
Great Papo flicks his thumb on the screen and then turns his face away and throws the phone back at me. “Damnation. What the fuck? I don’t want to see you hitting your girl from the back.”
I frown at him and look at my phone it was a picture of us dancing at a beach party during spring break. She was bent over twerking against my crutch and I was smacking her ass. We were smiling for the picture that my cousin Tudy took.
“Man. We were just fucking around and we had clothes on.” I said.
“You call that string between her legs and thin bra clothes? That youngster looked to comfortable with you behind her. Look now. Wear a damn condom until you are ready for her to start having your babies and fucksake marry first before you start knocking her up.”
“We’re just friends. We haven’t had sex.” I said.
Great Papo stared at me. “Yet. I can hear it your voice. Look don’t try to fuck with me youngster. You can fool your momma and sisters but you ain’t fooling me or your daddy and that fucking Boomer, son of mean. What does the Boomer say about you two?”
I pursed my lips. “He told me by the way Sue’s hanging onto me he expects she might want three kids before we turn thirty. But, I shouldn’t worry about getting married. I should just have fun.”
“That fucking Boomer.” Great Papo said in quiet whisper. “Divorced twice and him giving advice on relationships?! To busy fucking hockers and smoking weed. Wait a minute. Was that fucking Boomer eying your girl’s ass?”
We stared at each other. I took out my phone and dialed Sue’s number. She didn’t pick up. I started running for the door.
“I got to go great Papo. See you later.”
“That FUCKING BOOMER. I’LL SKIN HIM ALIVE!! Great Papo roared as I left the house.