Been reading the Sign of Four lately. I don’t know why but I have yet to finish it. I just love reading it and then I move on to other stories in the Sherlock Holmes library.
I’m thinking still of getting a leather back collection of the stories.
Anyway, it’s the matter of when Sherlock is shooting up and The doc has had enough of the shit and he gets Sherlock hocked on answering a question that leads into the thing that most motivates and feeds that beast or element of who he is….
A problem. A strange case or mysterious puzzle that involves a series of pieces all moving and not at all obvious to him the direction they all fit together in. His mind is engaged on finding the solution to the puzzle.
I can understand that deeply. I’m not as smart or talented as the fiction character or his author but I find myself coming alive or engaged by the question. A strangely interesting question that can range from…
What would it be like to a villian that realized he betrayed the one being that loved him? What if you the villian, couldn’t change yourself? What if you wanted justice for people your wronged by engineering your own demise?
I realized when Kate smiled and said she forgave me for selling her secrets to her enemy for more land for the pack I realized she hated me. She would never forgive me.
To late. I realized. I had just fucked myself over with the one person that mattered to me. I couldn’t let this stand. I knew I would only get worse. I couldn’t stop myself now. I had sold her secret for more then land. I had sold her secret for power.
I had to get her justice. It was time for me to die. I smiled at her. “I’ll make it up to you. Don’t worry. I’ll give you justice.”
Kate froze and heard it in my voice but then blinked and smiled pretending or thinking I wasn’t serious. “You did this for the pack. I understand.” She said the lie though it sounded like the truth it was bullshit and it only increased my resolve.
I glanced at my Betas. “Kate. I need you to step out a bit. I need a word with my Lieutenants.”
There was a longer pause. They were shocked by the name and it’s meaning. I had to careful. I smiled. “I’ve been listening to the elders and they think it’s time we upgraded to modern titles for betas.” I lied smoothly mixing in truth and misdirection.
Kate nodded but she wasn’t smiling now. She watched me as she left the room. I waited until I couldn’t smell her close enough in the den to hear me.
I turned to Luke my eldest Beta. “This time next year on my birthday. Your taking over in the old fashioned way. Be ready before then or I’ll select your second.”
Luke stared at me and nodded. “I’ll be ready don’t go making it easy or they’ll not accept it.”
I smiled. “Oh they’ll accept it. I’m going to make you into the fucking second coming hero on a white horse. Don’t fuck my Kate though.”
Luke rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry about that. I got you.”
I looked at the other four betas. “This is our secret. I can’t let this go on. There will be no redemption for me justice must be done. Do you stand with me?”
They all collectively gave me the fuck you sign. I smiled. “That’s what’s I’m talking about.
it’s about the question. It fuels something in me even in my blue or dark moments it kicks me out of it to think, to reason or to write.